All You Need to Know: Mighty Avengers #16
I think I understand.
So, Bendis needs to write this big Secret Invasion plot and work out a complex timeline for events to occur and hand them down the lines of editorial and otherwise, create this massive summer event. He seems like a hands-on kind of guy, not one to sit on the sidelines and work with what he's given, he would prefer to call the shots. Right? Right. So, with all of this work he's got to do, he's already incorporated his Avengers teams into this main plot, leaving the two books they're supposed to be in rather empty. Well, they're monthlies too and Secret Invasion has to work at a slower pace than that. The Avengers can't go off and have adventures like Millar's Fantastic Four can. So what do you do with the books?
Well, you coast.
You have filler. You pad them out until you're ready to fold them back into the main story that they've been telling since you started. If you've been reading Secret Invasion so far, you know that we're taking the slow approach and letting the sinister gravity of the book sink in before you start running around too much. The Avengers just have to wait.
Which is why this book doesn't have an Avenger in it. It's the story of how the Skrulls got Elektra, which to be perfectly honest, doesn't matter in the slightest. She did her plot purpose and there are more interesting things going on that I'd like to hear about. Anything, at this point. Can we get a D-Man back up? A Squirrel Girl four-parter?
So, we start out by finding out that Skrullektra paid Electro to stage the big breakout that kicked off the New Avengers series and ordered a hit on 'some Savage Land guy'. If you've been reading the book, you know that. If you check on things via the internet, you know that. If you can think back to when you read the issues back in 2004, you probably figured out that the criminal breakout was probably a ruse or something unimportant since they never really came back to it, only to hint in shadowy ways that there must be something more. 2004, people! Four years ago and he's telling us now!
Right. But before this transaction went down, Elektra was chillin' when a black suited version of herself tried to kick her ass. They fight. Elektra wins. Elektra fights Skrull-Daredevil and Skrull-Wolverine. Elektra wins. Elektra gets blindsided by a different Skrull. Elektra loses. This different Skrull just so happens to be the Empress's main squeeze, so we get a Skrull-as-a-woman/Skrull-as-a-woman kiss. The Empress laments having to send her dear warrior to die (meaning they set up the reveal? Really?) in accordance witht the Prophecy. Skrullektra then goes and un-unites the Hand and Hydra, takes over leadership and talks about honor and death and stuff.
So what do you need to know? How much of this was told in interviews or articles in the PAST FOUR YEARS? How much of this relates to the story as its being told now? And why is next issue going back to Hank Pym again? Didn't he get his issue already?
We are getting filler. I honestly can't think of anything that should be noted out of this issue that we haven't already heard or assumed. I can see why his attention is elsewhere, but I'm really hoping the next issue of Secret Invasion turns it up a notch. Or at least gets the characters in that book some breathing room so they can return to their titles and show us how the heroes are fighting the Invasion first hand.
This is going to be one WEIRD trade paperback collection.
All You Need to Know – New Avengers #42 and Mighty Avengers #15
Okay, so I was minding my own business on the week of June 25th, seeing as it was my birthday and whatnot when I was DELUGED by Avengers titles. Everyone Marvel could think of came out that week, leaving me no choice but to read all of them.
Let's start at the beginning, the two major Avengers titles of Mighty and New. Mighty is about how the Skrulls got Hank Pym and turned him into the Time magazine cover and Initiative director guy we know today and New is about how the Skrulls got Spider-Woman and the Skull Empress got into her position of power and directed her little infiltration group. Apparently, the Skrulls have a ceremony where placing a towel of blood over their body gives them a quick recap of issues to date and gives them a dual identity. They seem to be taking in the new persona so to speak while keeping their own personality; thus Hank Pym can act in the best interests of both the Skrull empire by forming the Fifty States Initiative (which I'll get to later) and fit in amongst his peers. SHIELD/HYDRA/Skrull Empress Jessica Drew takes us on a recap of how the Skrulls have been manipulating things since I'm going to assume right before Avengers: Disassembled. Talk of the VIBRANIUM mines comes up as THE ONLY THING THE SKRULLS CAN'T FIGHT BACK AGAINST so the Savage Land group comes in as trying to destroy the Vibranium stores there. Talk about all the mutants comes up as they try and turn a race war to their favor, pitting humans against mutants, something they want to do to the super-human community at large, thus Civil War. This... is a lot of things for the Skrulls to be responsible for.
Anyhoo, more recap goes down as Jessica Drew joins the Avengers, asks Madame Hydra for money for continuing her double agent clause (money? really?), yadda yadda. In the end, Pym calls to tell her that they're going to Genosha to go put the Scarlet Witch down. The Skrull empress gives the kill order and OH BOY THINGS FADE TO A WHITE PAGE.
So, For New Avengers #42, all you need to know is that the Skrulls have been pulling the strings on nearly everything and have a HUGE WEAKNESS TO VIBRANIUM, making the Black Panther tie-in possibly essential at this point.
Okay, Mighty Avengers #15 continues in recap fashion to show Hank Pym at his new teaching job which is where Bendis put them after Disassembled, which makes my early thoughts of New Avengers stuff wrong, so now I'm confused. Well, I'm sure when Secret Invasion Chronicles comes out, things will be a lot smoother and no one will have to make a flow chart. Man, I hate it when comics make me feel like an idiot for not learning their timeline...
ANYHOW, Pym is doing a lectures at Cambridge as I think that's where they put them. Jan's apparently getting drunk at parties. Hank's either resentful of this or just as mad as me that a former Avengers chairwoman has really let herself go in the name of her 'fashion design business'. The arguement is weak as it seems to paint Jan as a drunk harpy and Pym as a disapproving shut-in, showing us that years of comics and storylines keep them coming back to an age old arguement. Waking up in his office chair to find Jan moved out, he grumbles about this 'classy' move while the next page shows him sleeping with one of the students from his lectures.
Someday, we'll get a new angle on these two, I swear.
So the young blonde student is completely facinated by Pym's Avengers days, personal life and powers and pumps him for information he gives gladly. When he brags about how he and the boys could totally detect a Skrull at 30 paces, the girl's had enough and frankly so have I. Telegraphed a mile away, the girl shapeshifts into an awesome Skrull and beats the crap out of him. Jan drops by at the right time to see this young semi-nude blonde chick at Hank's place and just tells the chick she could do better. OH JAN.
For the record? The 'very ex-husband' comment Janet makes is a little awkward since those two have been divorced for quite some time; Johns or Austen I think tried to get them remarried tried to get them remarried but it didn't work out.
The Skrulls create a new Pym who does all the stuff we've seen until now, putting him back on top by giving him ambition that, let's face it, our old Hank Pym didn't have. He goes back to his buddies after the Ultron storyline in Mighty Avengers and tells them how to defeat Stark's armor. Since the Skrulls are all set to go, Pym gives Janet a 'new growth formula' that's probably something horrible.
All you really need to know for Mighty Avengers #15 is that last bit, that Janet Van Dyne now has some sort of evil formula in her hands that she might think is some new way for her to become Giant Woman (which she already did during the 'Venom Bomb' storyline). So maybe you don't need to know that.
Right! So those are the big two, reminding me a lot of those episodes mid-season that get a lower budget so they resort to a 'remember when?' recap show. Mind you, that Vibranium thing is big, but... that's a lot of 'previously in the Avengers'.
It’s Something Time, Alright
So, with a certain movie on the horizon, I got linked some of the ky00test Hulk toys for the Marvel Super Hero Squad line. Just like Lil'Galactus, these do delight and create the oohs and awws. But there's just something about this one...
... that really makes me want to run some sort of captioning contest or something.
In the News
So, we get in a call at the store because the local News-Press has heard something of this 'Iron Man' fellow that seems to be a hit with the youngsters, so they want to talk to us about it. The torch is passed to the Comic Shop Girl (and let's be honest, it's for my enthusiasm and the fact I can spout this stuff off the top of my head) and they come by for an interview...
... which makes it to the front page. Go fig.
SORRY! Wrong link, though I admire Lydia's candor and wasn't so much of a cheerleading shill to say the same myself. Nope! Here's Yours Truly with the rah-rah for the store, Iron Man and anything else you pu in front of me.
Please note: It's me, a dog who sadly died and new Child Pornography laws. It really was a slow news day. But I said my best, got misquoted and spoke positively about comics in the media and how business changed what was once a child's medium. Sounds good, right?
It even got us a bit of business. So that's good there.
Fatality
So, everyone know about the DC vs. Mortal Combat game coming out that seems ridiculous?
Good.
When the news came over the wire at Blog@Newsarama, me and my fellow employees laughed and all of us were transported back to the mid '90s in a furious flurry of "Who could beat who?" questions. Of course I'll play his hotshot new gamet as I spent a good hundred dollars in total trying learning Sonja's "Kiss of Death" fatality back in my younger years, but thankfully everything I wanted to say plus an extra dose of cleverness was taken by Alt Text.
Thanks, sir.
All You Need to Know – New Avengers #41
Normally, I drag my feet to the next issue of the Avengers. It's not going to be what I want and yet will probably contain some dynamic and exciting info that I'll kick myself later if I don't know.
Today, I have an exception.
THIS IS IT FOLKS!
Actual Avengers! Backstory I understand! Reasonable and understandable plot! Mind you, I have been reading New Avengers since it's start so I know the "Breakout" storyline and can see how this fits into that, once again causing me to pause and ponder a "Secret Invasion - Secret Files" supplimental title for the Big Event, not to mention the usual Bendis trope of "characters all sound the same" but hey. We're not looking for perfection here. I'm just happy to like an issue for once.
So, we start out in Secret Invasion #2, with the Skrull characters and Our Heroes fighting. There's a dinosaur, a lot of confusion and then HEY! Ka-Zar, Shanna and Zabu! The guys that live in the Savage Land show up to find out what the hell is going on in their backyard. Spider-Man is there to crack wise, play off the danger and accuse the Savage Land crew of being Skrulls, while Ka-Zar and Shanna are there to give a little backstory.
See, they knew about the Skrulls, oh say, since the New Avengers 'Breakout' storyline. They had done some pretty cool investigating, kicked a lot of butt and figured out that SHIELD and the Avengers had been infiltrated by the Skrulls and are starting some war prep. So they get a crew together, start to take it to the streets and then New Avengers #6 happens. We cut back to now where Spider-Man admits he has NO IDEA what was going on with all of that, but thinks there's a piece of the puzzle missing. Spider-Sense goes off, Zabu goes "RRRRRRRRRR!" and Captain America shows up to challenge Ka-Zar's honor.
All in all, nothing all that new, but interestingly told, easy to fit into the scheme of things and high on the action content. People kick, people punch and there are explosions and Avengers. I am pleased.
So all you need to know is that SHIELD had a base to mine for Vibranium way back when, Shanna and Ka-Zar are on it and the Avengers are still fighting in the Savage Land.
Wasn't that fun?
HULK HATE CAVITIES!
Yesterday I wound up having two straight hours of emergency dental work. I cracked a tooth on Monday and so far, the week hasn't been kind.
As they were strapping me into the chair and the doctor above me was asking if it was safe, a typical concern popped into my head:
Does Bruce Banner go to the dentist?
Really, now. Does he have just stellar teeth, brushing and flossing with great regularity? Or does he suffer through any discomforts? Because I just can't imagine a dentist appointment going well for him. Then again, he is a scientist so maybe he can look more clinically at the process and might not have the bone-numbing terror that I get at the dentist's office. Maybe he's all business.
Then again, the man is rather touchy (well, classically he's rather touchy as opposed to know where he's sort of non-existent). Personally, I think he might last through the numbing, but the sound of a drill going towards your mouth and the smell of burnt tooth might make him angry.
Maybe they just knock him out completely.
All You Need to Know – Mighty Avengers #14
Give me just a moment to just... remember why I liked the Sentry. Because this issue is trying to convince me otherwise.
We start out with old-school Sentry, back when he was a beloved character of the Marvel Universe, saving the Fantastic Four from what appears to be a Skrull attack. Bunch of Skrulls, very suicide bomber calm, fly a little craft into the Baxter Building which the Sentry averts, flies them up into space to get some answers and BOOM. Nice explosion.
Bob wakes up in the care of Reed and Ben who explain and the Sentry seems certainly off as they chat about what all that was about. Basically, man those crazy Skrulls hate the Fantastic Four, so it was a suicide bombing run. But the Sentry stopped the flying spacecraft from crashing into the tall Baxter Building and saved New York City. The Sentry is acting weird, which is fine because apparently EVERYONE knows the Sentry is crazy at this time, as the Thing makes a crack about the Skrulls being "crazier den you". The Sentry is... tired and we cut scene.
A few months ago, the Avengers had a shin-dig and we get Jarvis THE SKRULL getting access to the Avengers files in a warm moment between him and Tony that... seems a little forced? Ehn, I'll put the fault for that squarely on me, the reader who knows too much. Later, in a room with only one overhead light, Jarvis THE SKRULL meets up with other THE SKRULLS to discuss how that there doesn't really need to be a contingency plan for the Sentry, as he's so crizazy that he'll do himself in. Yes, we already know who THE SKRULLS in this scene are supposed to be... or that's what I guess. It appears to be Contessa, Jessica Drew (as she's addressed as "Empress"), Jarvis, Elektra... Dum Dum Dugan? Maybe? He's freakin' HUGE if that's him. Maybe it's Goliath. Some Hydra agents? Some SHIELD agents? It's sketchy and on purpose.
Cut scene to Secret Invasion #1 where Vision THE SKRULL tricks the Sentry into thinking this is all his fault and the Void is behind it. The Sentry freaks out and runs away to space and to a rather confusing page.
Out in space, he sees Saturn and there's a little spot in the rings.
The Sentry gets his OH NOES face on.
Yep, there's a little black spot on the rings of Saturn today....
Yes, the Sentry is still freakin' out. Maybe he's warding it away? Maybe he's getting pulled towards it?
Yeah, that could be going towards it. I do have to guess though as his face has remained the same stages of freak out for the whole page and the art's not really giving me clues. Maybe this is one of those situations where, if we had the script, it'd make more sense. Oh, little yellow narration boxes, where are you when we need you?
Last bit has the Sentry surprised in darkness. I'm going to go ahead and infer that the little black spot is the Void (who we last saw dramatically thrown into the sun) and now... Oh heck. I don't know. The next page is a full page shot of him going fetal in darkness, so... yeah.
Meanwhile, New York City is once again suffering under an onslaught of destruction. Again. No wonder the X-Men are moving to San Fransisco. A new super dooper Skrull comes to threaten Lindy, who shivvers and shakes and threatens him with her husband who does indeed show up to flatten him. Only....
IT'S VOID-SENTRY! Oh noes.
So yeah, all you need to know is Superman got into the Kryptonite that makes him evil and Lex Luthor is gonna pay! I mean, I was right, the Void is back and is going to make Dark Phoenix look like a stomach cramp.
Getting the Word Out
So, I haven't gotten a chance to talk about Secret Invasion #2 yet (because, let's face it.... after #1 it was kind of a let down) because with summer coming up, we've hit promotion season at ye olde store. So this means heading out to events like the Santa Barbara Social Game Night to talk about the kind of games we sell at our store and demo something a little more different than your average board game, putting up a booth at the nearby university to promote the store with leftover free comics and a fine selection of the kind of floppies the college kids can dig, just generally getting the word out which is one of the best things about this little medium of ours.
I like comics and I like telling people I like comics. I like getting people to like comics with me. it's all part of the show, you know. So why I may not be on the snap or judgments of late, know that I'm doing my part. And reading comments.
This is what I recommend to folks who've come out of the Iron man movie and just so happen to make it to the comic shop. Believe it or not, we actually sold four Iron Man: Extremis TPs the weekend Iron man came out which I will consider a huge success. Since it's newer, the tech updated as only Warren Ellis can provide and the art something special, it's probably the better TP to siggest because it serves as a gateway to the current Iron Man and can keep people hip. The of course, two all new series: one is an ongoing and the other a mini for those people who 'don't want to get into comics per se'.
My job, ladies and gents.
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Presents
Okay, so in the month of June to... maybe celebrate the release of the new Incredible Hulk film (which I will eventually get around to talking about here), we got a bunch of big heafty issues with some backup stories and reprints. Iron Man got two new books, all glossy and keen, all the Hulk got was a rock. It's like they had the same prejudices of the movie going public had with "Well, the last one sucked so let's see if we can just get to 0". And before you say it, I know. Skaar, Son of Hulk is out too and today has the infamous 'red' Hulk runnign around, but neither of these are great intro comics for people who thought Edward Norton was keen. Now, Invincible Iron Man sold out at Metro because... we rule AND that the first issue was rather well paced, interesting and caught people up from the movie to the Way Things Are Now(tm), going light on the Director of SHIELD business and heavy on the Stane v. Stark story. Skaar, Son of Hulk DOESN'T HAVE THE HULK IN IT. In fact, I'd be BETTER if it was just called 'Skaar, Conan in Space' or 'Grek Pak's Interglatactic Tales of Skaar'. If the Hulk ain't in the book, it is not a Hulk book. 'Red' Hulk doesn't count because I have NO IDEA what's going on with that story outside of an All Star Batman feel of taking on the tropes of Hulkness: smashing and gamma monsters. Ehn.
Mind you, Marvel did the same thing with Ang Lee's movie as the 25-cent issue didn't have the Hulk in it either and featured unwanted sexual advances ('Hey, kids! Like the movie? Here's a comic for ya- oh wait.), but that's another story.
Right, the 'specials': King Size Hulk and Hulk: Raging Thunder and... the one that came out before both of those, Giant-Sized Incredible Hulk, with the Gary Frank cover. This is what Marvel brought to the table and, having read each of them, I can't say I'm impressed. But yet, I can't not like them (well, except for the Giant Size, because it was a snooze fest) and let me tell you why.
Both the King Size Hulk and Hulk: Raging Thunder have really light new content. The stories are short and sweet, in Raging Thunder's case maybe a little too short and both of them seem really out of place. Did we really need to know what the Wendigo have been up to? How much ass does Frank Cho need to draw on a regular basis? (Answer: a LOT) These stories, while interesting, are interludes to a larger story at work that was delayed for one reason or another. If it was to fill in the 'gaps' of the main book... again, Wendigo? how much time as the red Hulk had betweent the end of World War Hulk and now? Why is She-Hulk still over here instead of getting disbarred and turning disillusioned bounty hunter in her own book? If it was to entice people into the main story, then welcome to a late and somewhat light on plot title! Yay?
So we get two short tales and then... THREE REPRINTS. And this is where my rage turns. You see, King Size Hulk came with the first appearance of Wolverine which is actually kind of cool. If you don't have it, never read it, it's a neat thing to get for your enjoyment, a little history for your money, plus it had the Hulk in it, which sort of qualifies it for a piggyback in the special. Sure, you could put a reprint of Hulk #181 in a Wolverine special (of which he has a truckload this summer), but this is a way to give a little showtime to the Hulk, kind of 'cool by association'. Believe it or not, there are some people on this Earth that didn't know that Wolverine first appeared in a non-mutant title and fought the Hulk right out of the bat, so history lessons for everyone.
And then... there was the other reprint: Avengers #83. Is the Hulk in this book? NO. Is She-Hulk maybe in this book? NO. Does this book have anything to do with anything Hulk related? NO. So why is it in this King Size Hulk? Because Carla loves the Lady Liberators. Really, that's all I could think of because I really really love the Lady Liberators. I'd be mad at such a waste of a reprint in a Hulk special but it's like finding a really cute kitten in a three car pile up. Sure, there's damage and wreckage and someone should get the licence of the driver that caused it all but ohhhhh, lookit de kitty! Seriously guys, I feel like apologising because even though I have the issue, I have the Avengers DVD-ROM with this issue, I have the Essential Avengers volume with this issue, I was so happy to have yet ANOTHER COPY to show to customers and friends alike. Oh Valykrie and the Enchantress!
The second special actually has the same problem. It's a rather left-field little tale about Thundra, warrior woman of a female-dominated planet, coming to Earth to fight the Hulk and get some DNA from him so that they could have a baby that would be strong enough to lead when Thundra has to step down from being the Warrior Princess. Or something. Yeah, and there's a lot of fighting and metaphorical juxtapositon and yes, there's a Femizon/Gamma hybrid girl being all awesome and cool, but.... really? Who's been crying out for a Thundra vs. Hulk face off? I mean, did Marvel get my letters?
Again, this is another issue I should be really mad at. A weak story that will be forgotten to the annuls of time with the creation of a useless character that some poor fool will dredge back up when his own plots are failing in order to gain a cookie from the Fanboy Faction for his citation of this lost book and, yes, a reprint of Thundra's first appearance in the Fantastic Four. Really, this should have been called Thundra: Gamma Rage or something because it's not a Hulk story. The Hulk is a means to an end for the Femizons who lead the story with their goal of getting preggers (by the way, it's through a kiss so everyone look disappointed). The reprint has nothing to do with the Hulk and once again, he gets the shaft in his own $3.99 special released when his movie hits theaters.
In fact, what's the real story of Jeph Loeb's Hulk? It's about the Red Hulk which we all know isn't Banner now. Skaar, Son of Hulk showed the Green Goliath in the recap but that's it. For a movie that did so much to make you like Bruce Banner, that really hit the core of the old and VERY POPULAR TV show, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING like it in comic book form outside of back issues and reprint trades. What a sad, sad state of affairs.
Well, at least I got some reprint presents out of it? Sorry folks.