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Run Silent, Run Deep

Alright, after New Avengers: Illuminati #5, I just have to start with

I CALLED IT!!

Send down the balloons, Mr. Colbert because I CALLED THAT MO'FO'! And I was even sick at the time! Mind you, I do know that this is a little like called who's buried in Grant's Tomb, but these days the fickle hand of Marvel fate can take the most logical of courses and send them over the waterfall in a barrel.  I called this, it does fix a few things and eases a few fears over inconsistent characterizations.

So, Black Bolt was a Skrull. No ifs, ands or buts about it and if the story is solid, he would have been a Skrull for a long time. I'm going to again say that Black Bolt was probably a Skrull Post-Jenkins Inhumans mini because 1) I really like that story and 2) it's in this semi-nebulous area of time that doesn't actually relate to many stories outside of itself (shame, really). In fact, it'd probably be best if we just find where the first really stupid decisions started getting made and take it from there.

Pre-Silent War?  Well, yes.  Poor leadership positions and a rather aggro attitude towards something that should have been solved in a more thoughtful manner ("Hey, Reed?  Medusa here.  Yeah, your government got a hold of some lethally dangerous Terrigen Mist crystals because my brother-in-law went crazy.  Can you go use your sway as a Very Important Person and our long term ally and help us out?  Sure, we'll watch your kids this Sunday!") that would have gelled better with previous history.  Pre-Hulk Decision?  Most definitely; divide and conquer plus Xavier not being there to ratt him out (though, apparently the Skrulls have gotten a recent upgrade according to this issue that makes them undetectable by logical methods) make a well-played move for the sneaky Skrulls that's done a heck of a lot of damage.

But beyond that?  Nothing's really jumping out at me.  This might be because continuity hasn't been rewritten yet that will totally show us all how incredibly well thought out this invasion is, or we might have reached the moment of switcheroo.  In that case...  where's Black Bolt?  How did they swap him out?  Did they even  swap him out or was there a disintegrator ray used and is this a more serious threat than simple body swapping?

The very idea of killing off the people these Skrulls are impersonating sounds like such a bad idea.  It's shooting yourself in the foot to add a level of danger to a plot that, let's face it, we've seen before.  It's like saying superheroes would become enemies of the state if they don't register with the government and taking vigilantism out of Marvel-  ... Yeah.  It seems like an extra twist of the screw that would make everything more brutal and real and dangerous and that is so up Bendis's alley right now.  It's why we have two Avengers books, it's why Tigra got the ever-living daylights beat out of her in gruesome detail on panel.

Who can you trust, indeed?

In Your Father’s Shadow

Okay, so we've all seen the Captain America redesign, yes? Go click, ooh and ahh, then come back.

I have to admit, aside from a little burlesque there with the black sheath slipping down to show you Cap's all chromy insides, I don't think it's horrible or the best thing since sliced bread. As much as they want to make a big deal out of it, I don't think the internet's all that broken over something... this simple. It's a costume and marks the change of Steve Rogers holding the torch to the next guy.

Which... come on. The black? The knife and gun? Unless Thunderbird's taking a break from the X-Men, we all know who's in there. Considering December will herald the last clash between Iron Man and the Winter Soldier, it only makes sense that some CHANGE COME FROM THE CONFRONTATATION. A novel idea I know, but with Brubaker at the pen, I don't think Winter Soldier will suddenly realize he's been wrong all this time and walk off to be arrested nor will Iron Man once again get his butt handed to him to go slink off and lick his wounds while still being in charge. No, Steve left a letter for him asking him to both save Bucky and continue the Captain America tradition and Tony's a smart enough gut to know how ot do both at the same time and maybe earn a cookie for the effort.

Now, when talking about this at the store with my illustrious and savvy fellow employees, I got into the fact that should Bucky accept the role that's been set for him as the new Captain America, this is some good story. For one, think about this: ever since he was a kid, he's never really been his own man, starting out as a mascot for the WWII war effort, then manipulated into the Winter Soldier... and now given this new hat to wear as an American icon? Mind you, there's no terrible communism or torture involved, but still, it's a lot to think about and digest.

Plus, there would be no way that Bucky would want to wear the traditional Captain America uniform. The man was like a father to him, this shining exemplar of everything Bucky knew was right and good and all that... it'd be uncomfortable for a man like him to step into the same mold because it simply wouldn't measure up. It'd be like wearing your dead father's old suit, creepy and way too uncomfortable, I said, then realized once again why I think Brubaker knocks it out of the park for me.

I was worried about the way a character would feel about a change in costume.

Silence = Death

You'll have to forgive me, but I have a wicked headcold and could use a little chicken soup/crackpot theory on comic storyline surprises.

So... Black Bolt's a Skrull.

Yeah. I made that decision long ago when Marvel pulled the latest of its "What will you do, reader? WHAT! WILL! YOU! DO!?" taglines and made us all look at the Marvel rosters for secret squirrels err, Skrulls to figure out who to trust.

At first, I went right for Doctor Strange; an odd lack of protecting the mystic arts, proclaiming that chaos magic didn't exist, and his running in the opposite direction of Civil War didn't seem all that trustworthy. It would explain Bendis's hamhanded handling of the character and be a hell of a thing to find out that the real Sorcerer Supreme got taken out and was chained up in space somewhere so he could run into Annihilation... but that's nonsense and wishful thinking. A lot of spells have been slung around and Bendis has tried to declare the New Avengers clean... though that could all be a ruse and if I start to think that way I'm going to start dropping titles out of frustration.

Everyone's going to point to Tony Stark, but that's just bad storytelling. No, exceptionally bad storytelling.

I figured one of the Illuminati had to be involved and so my vote goes to Black Bolt. He's silent and doesn't have to exercise his power everyday, so one could slip under the radar of not having world-shattering hyper-sonics. As part of the Ruling Council, he's got a great amount of support to figure out how to run Attilan and, as highest in the ruling food chain of the Inhumans, he's got a pretty good connection into the Marvel Universe as a whole. Who's going to turn down a visit from the moon nation?

And thanks to the first issue of the Illuminati mini-series, there's even a good chance for the old switcheroo to take place right under the Illuminati' noses. I thought that issue was far too A-Team to just slide under the radar and while consecutive issues have never reached that level of A-Team-ness, it'd be nice to get to go back to that issue for that one clue we missed while Tony Stark was stuck dragging Professor Xavier around while firing a gun.

I'll be honest here, too: another reason why I'm calling Skrull on Black Bolt here is because it would make me feel better. I think the character is a lot better that how he's been shown in recent books and saying he's been an impostor is a pleasant if not corny little salve on my bruised fangirl soul. Not to get into a nerd war or anything, but I am very sorry to tell Daniel Way that there is no way that the Hulk could have beaten the monarch of Attilan so easily. Sorry, just doesn't fly with me when, as base fact, one is a very strong hand-to-hand combatant and the other has the world's most powerful ranged weapon known to man. The Hulk may have not been this angry before, but Black Bolt can level cities with a whisper. Sans the rest of Attilan, not to mention space physics and all that jazz, Black Bolt still should have been able flay the flesh from Hulk's bones before he was able to get within arm's reach. Graphic, I know, but I feel pretty strongly about this and if the reason for this oversight was that it wasn't actually Black Bolt after all? Like I said, a little salve.

This would also explain the train wreck that was Silent War as Black Bolt seemed to have a heck of a time making the right decision through all of that. Whe, at the end of the tale, Luna goes to Black Bolt in prison and asks for some clue as to how to fix everything, we cut to a black page. Now, perhaps this wasn't because David Hine hates me personally (which I know he actually doesn't, please Mr. Hine, I'm not serious), perhaps it was because showing any more would have ruined a reveal that was in the works for months and wouldn't get played out until this new Secret Invasion. Mr. Hine has said that he has a third part ending for his Kicking the Inhumans in the Nads masterpiece that is still in the works (an idea he's "pitched", meaning that all of that was written without a clear ending in mind making me once again nervous for editoral at Marvel) and it'd be neat to see that all of this is going somewhere.

So, yeah. Black Bolt's a Skrull.   There ya go.

That Girl!

So I watch over what I write on ye olde internet, seeing if anyone's saluting the flag I run up the flagpole. Doubly more for the Fifth Color; as it is my SERIOUS BUSINESS, I try and save my A-game for the folks at Newsarama, giving my readers here (HI MOM!) a little more of what's on my mind. I mean, come on: name your column 'The Fifth Color' and try and say you're not being pretentiously vague...

Anyhoo, today's was very important to me as I'd been saving it for awhile now, the idea of 'Who is my favorite chick hero anyways?" one question I get asked a lot. Most of my favorite characters are dudes (multiple dudes in fact) and the fact I have to trope out 'Wonder Woman' in polite company gets under my skin. Because every time I pick one, they tend to go off their beam or set to the back burner or worse. The Wasp used to be the one I'd hold up as my woman champion... and then I ha to go into such explanations to say why! While I went on about how she was one of the best Chairpersons the Avengers ever had, the first to name the team and all, I'll I'd hear was 'Hank Pym sure hit 'er good, hurr hurr'. Sadly, the character has been so saddled with her poor romance she's barely grown on her own since her time as Chairwoman. No one cared, not even the artists who never seemed to bother with the fact that this was a fashion designer; seeing he recent Patsy Walker story with the Immonens just kind of hit that one home again. It's a waste and Janet Van Dyne is probably due for a genius writer to sweep her off her feet, but until then... we're stuck.

I thought Jennifer Walters could be my favorite female superhero as she was living large, strong and sexy, smart and confident. A lot to look up to and she always seemed to own whatever book she was in. Dan Slott brought her back to the lawyer biz and put a good inner conflict on the life of a hero and the life of just an ordinary gal and how the both are just as daring as the other. And then... the Agent of SHIELD line hit and the character seemed to go right off the rails. Sleeping with Tony Stark and being turned down by Wolverine on the job (not to mention being called 'sloppy seconds' without putting Logan through a wall), all the self-respect I liked about the character seemed set aside to show the reader that the character needed it in the first place. It was awkward and now Peter David seems to be going in an all new, all different direction that I fear is going to be just a way gritty up a character that was so different from her male counterpart she might as well not even been the "She-Hulk". I don't want to have little faith in the future, but some nights one wonders if anyone gets want I'm looking for in a heroine.

And then I read The Cat #1 from the Women of Marvel TP and thought, "Hey, maybe someone does get it!"

The Cat #1 was written by Linda Fite and it's an action/adventure comic with all the earmarks of a tried and true Marvel comic. It's got human drama, tragedy, acrobatics and this little gooey center of truth in the whole thing. It was great and I need to hit the back issue bins like a house a'fire and grab myself the whole run of this short lived little book. If your curious, I have a rather bland little retelling I did of the issue from the Women of Marvel; I held back a lot of personal opinion to try and let people make their own decision on who Greer Nelson was and who she is now. Working at Metro, I know what it's like to have someone go on and on and on about a beloved character to the point of causing backfire and I didn't want to be That Girl.

Because, as far as I'm concerned, Tigra and The Cat are two ENTIRELY different characters. Sure, they have the same name but there is no trace of the young science student in the bikini-clad cat-woman that now graces comic covers. A woman that once had to fight for her independence, gained an incredible intellect through what amounts to a 'super-soldier serum' is now not only a traitor and a spy in Civil War (the real crime being that she was a BAD one), but now full of meows and purrs for a man known for his incredible success with women: Hank Pym.

Careful, I'm becoming That Girl, but Greer Nelson was a lot cooler as a student of science who had surpassed what society thought of her to don a super-suit and cling to rooftops in the chilling rain. The character as she is now has little to nothing to connect her with her first issues and in a way, I'm kind of glad.