snap judgments no, really, there are some comics you really should read

For Better or for Worse

When I first started working at Metro, I had this strange obession with Incredible Hulk back issues. Mostly, it was due to a good friend of mine turning me on to how utterly awesome the Peter David run was, but I think a lot of it had to do with the thrill of your first employee discount. Anyhow, I got a lot, and I mean A LOT, of David written Hulk issues and came to adore the relationship between Bruce Banner and his wife, Betty. It was interesting to see someone who wasn't super-powered at the side of a man who could quite possibly kill her at the wrong moment in time.? It was dangerous, but it was love and it was a new kind of story to the turn-of-the-millenium me.

If you ever get the trade of INCREDIBLE HULK BEAUTY & THE BEHEMOTH, you'll find an awesome little note at the end of the book by Mr. David who opens up about why Betty had to go. It was personal, it was reasonable, and I cried a little bit over the last issue long after the woman had left the book and the writer shortly after.  I longed for her return, thinking of how General Ross still had her under stasis underground somewhere, giving the reader that little bit of 'Well, maybe down the line...'. After all, this is comics.

When Jenkins got ahold of the Hulk in later issues, it was like a second coming for me. The man has such a way with heart-driven stories it really makes you feel like the person on the page is someone you know and the story is something they're living through. (then again, 'Penance'... I guess they can't all be winners) Anyhow, his take on the Hulk was just a little stroke of genius for me and one of my favorite tales is, in fact, a deal with the Devil.

Devil Hulk, that is.   IRONY!  As Bruce Banner's body suffers from an incurable disease, that dark, dark part of him best kept locked away from the light of day, attempts to get out.  Not by forcing his way through Banner's psyche, no... something far more insidious.  Just for a moment, Bruce Banner is given the opportunity to live the life he's always wanted: Betty alive and healthy, two darling children, a supporting cast of family and friends, a chance to be brilliant and never threaten anyone again with the Hulk and all his ills, it's idyllic and soothes a torn heart.  All he has to do to live this one moment for the rest of his life is to give the Devil Hulk control of Banner's body, allowing him to be the dominant personality while Bruce can live this fantasy in the back of his mind.  Everything he's ever wanted, Bruce willingly denies himself so that the Devil Hulk remains locked away in his psyche; his kisses his wife goodbye, embraces his terrible nature, and wakes up with her name on his lips and tears in his eyes.

Oh, it's incredible.  Simply incredible.  I read the issues constantly and inflict them on co-workers when I can.  This marked the second time I had to say goodbye to Betty Banner and I again found myself in tears, but with a stronger feeling of her passing.  This was it, I thought.  Bruce can't have his wife back because she's a part of his woes, the weight on his shoulders.  It was because of his monstrous alter-ego (through the attentions of the Abomination) that she died; if he had been the little milksop and had no Hulk to speak of, she'd still be alive today.  They might have had those two kids by now.

But Betty didn't choose that, she chose Bruce for better or worse.  There were times she was in the arms of another man, times she was even a nun for Heaven's sake!  But it always came back to Bruce, danger or no.  Sorrow or no.  For better and worse, sometimes at the same time.  Because Bruce chose to accept that, because he denied the dark impulses of his deepest nature and kept on keepin' on despite the easy road being offered, he kept Betty's memory alive and I was cool with that.  I was cool with her being gone as this was my second exposure to putting her to rest; this time, it really kicked in.

Then there was Bruce Jones.

And you know what?  Those issues don't exist for me.  I don't want to hear that Betty was revived, given plastic surgery and gamma powers and that all of the deep emotional impact that hit me hard because of two fantastic writers is lost to some dumb story that had little ties to what came before it.  I could go on about how bad those stories were, how angry I got at Marvel for allowing Jones to run roughshod over these characters and how little of it made sense, but in the end that doesn't change a thing.  The marriage has run its course, Betty Banner lives on through the characters and her death was not in vain.  It's a little bit of the best kind of irony that Bruce Jones's Betty was placed on 'Nightmare Island' at the end of Peter David's last run at the book.

So does this relate to anything?  I don't know, it's not for me to decide.  All I know is that I miss Betty Banner... but on the other hand, I kind of don't.  I think that's good writing.

My Future Can Beat Up Your Future

The comment that got me in trouble?  I hear my manager and a customer talking about the Messiah CompleX as he's picking up a good chunk of issues and Mister Manager is going on about how this 'really changes things for the X-Men' and it seems like there's a lot more at stake.  I ask, quite innocently I'll admit, what exactly is at stake?  We kind of know why Sinister would want the baby (genetic experimentation) and why the Purifiers would want the baby (Destroy All Mutants!) but why is Cyclops so dead set on no one else, not even his own son (Hey!  Back from the dead!  You'd think it'd make him happy), getting to the finish line with the baby.  Why he'd sacrifice Madrox to learn about the future.  Why he's kicking Xavier to the curb and hiring on a secret super stabbing team.  Why he and Wolverine seem so chummy all of a sudden!

Right.

So I know I stopped reading Messiah CompleX due to the fact I couldn't tell what was going on, why Cyclops would send a kill-death squad after his own son after assuming seemingly suddenly that Cable sicc'd Sentenels on the Mansion (long story) and why everyone seemed so blasé about sending Madrox into two different  timelines without 1) figuring out what kind of effect this would have an effect on the original guy  and 2) expecting him TO KILL HIMSELF to download the new info to the original guy.  Yikes, talk about forgetting to care about the men under your command.  I understand they want to make Scott Summers 'x-treeeme' to placate some readers (like a man who'd watched the love of his life DIE horrifically how many times and led the X-Men through Hell and Back,  sacrificed his life to try and destroy Apocalypse and raised his son by  travelling to the future ISN'T hardcore enough for you people), but come on!  This is getting into '90s Image title territory.  Expect big pouches soon.

Enough complaining.  We sold out of X-Factor #27 (part 11 of 13, better end this nonesense quick!), but I managed to grab a copy and read it  before it was a black spot on our shelves.  Warning:  SPOILERS.

I’ve Said My Peace and Counted to Three

One More Day?

IT'S OVER!

That's the best thing I can say on it, but apparently, other people can say a heck of a lot more, most of it pretty damning.  I hate to say this, but the more people get mad, talk about it and say what anyone with a history of reading Spidey books knows (that it's a pretty lame idea to have your flagship character known for his moral compass to make a deal with the devil, that magic doesn't fix everything, that erasing a major part of Peter Parker's history is a unneeded plot twist, etc.)... the worse you make it for the new guys.

Now there's a job you have to give some sympathy towards: try jumping on to a title after the EiC has set it on fire in front of the fans.

These new guys, from every interview and talk they've given, just want to write Spider-Man.  They want to make him a good guy again and have some fun in our funny books.  Have people forgotten that Dan Slott, one of the wittiest guys Marvel's got, is going to be writing your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man??  When did this become a bad thing?  Why aren't people dancing in the streets that the reign of JMS is over?

Hey, says the reader, JMS did a lot of good for Spider-Man and put the book back on the map!  Don't blame him!  Well, you know what?  Gwen Stacy's teen pregnancy by a man old enough to be her father.   Whatever the heck The Other was supposed to be about.  All that Spider Totem mombo-jumbo.  He's done some good, sure (I thought Peter teaching high school science was a stroke of genius, but you saw how much that got used in the book), but he's also done some pretty lousy stories as well.  We're all human.

So he's done.  Brand New Day lies ahead.  Accentuate the positive, people.  And that's all I've got to say about that.

A Holiday Present for Everyone

Dear Santa,

My name is Carla and I am 28 years old and I have been a good girl this year.  I have tried to be fair in my reviews and I don't flame other blogs.  I have emailed people who have left nasty comments in private and I was nearly on time with all my Fifth Color articles for Newsarama.

For being good this year, I would like to give someone else a gift so I hope you can.  I think Matt Fraction should get to keep the characters of Misty Knight and Colleen Wing for his Immortal Iron Fist book.  He is a very good writer and they seem to be a lot happier and healthier working with Luke Cage as the Heroes for Hire.  As Bendis would let Luke Cage go over his cold dead body,  I think that the Daughters of the Dragon would help out Iron Fist a lot and the book would be a lot of fun.

Thank you,

Carla

Striking Fear into the Hearts of EVIL

Now I love Brubaker's Captain America. I love it. LOVE LOVE GIRLY GODDAMNED LOVE that book. It's a given and that's why this site hasn't become Snap Judgments On How Awesome Brubaker's Cap Is; I just assume everyone coming here either loves the book already (good for you) or doesn't like it and my expousing over its awesome-ocity isn't going to do more than annoy. So there you go.

BUT! I just have to share this: there's this great moment in the last issue of Captain America, issue #32 that gave me a reaction I honestly hadn't had in a long time. Let me explain: this issue, Black Widow and Falcon are going into a secret evil base where Doctor Faustus has Sharon Carter and the Winter Soldier. Despite having recently been taken out by Sharon and told that she's under the control of Doctor Faustus, they go in to rescue her and boy, do they get down to business. Falcon and the Black Widow are kicking ass against Red Skull's personal AIM department, RAID:

That's what I'm talking 'bout. Kicks to the face busting in and making a bee line for the objective. Don't pause, no quips for the hell of it, no. These two are here on business.

In a moment of panic, some poor fool of a guard has to run and tell Dr. Faustus, who's technically in charge of the base Falcon and Widow are making mince meat of, what's going on. Not a job anyone wants to have, but the way he tells Faustus evoked an emotional response from me, the reader:

Do you hear that? The panic? The fear? THE AVENGERS! HOLY CRAP! WE'RE DOOOOOMED!!

There's something to that, a sense of 'run for your life! the heroes are here!' that's been missing from the Avengers a group of people who really should inspire that kind of reaction from the seasoned villain. Remember when they did stuff like this? Storm a villain's headquarters and bust heads until they got what they needed? Rescue friends and comrades despite the circumstances and ... well, avenge things? Jumping into adventure with a plan and the determination to see it through?

This is Marvel's JLA but I like to think that they'd be even worse in the minds of villainy.  DC's Justice League is so powerful they hold themselves in a certain degree of check.  They have to considering just how powerful those characters are; if they didn't... well, they'd be the Authority.  The Avengers (at least, the Avengers of old) weren't exactly able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and had a little more of that human tenacity.  And when there's more at stake, more danger involved, things get a little more dangerous.

Now, as you can see the guard does explain it is just two Avengers but for a moment just one slim moment, I like to think that Doctor Faustus peed his pants.  Just a little.

War is Over, If You Want It

Ladies and gentlemen, World War Hulk.

The final issue off the stands and in my hot little hands, I actually felt I needed time to digest the conclusion and take in everything that went down. 'Cause, boy did it ever. It's like they took all the RARGH FIGHT! that was supposed to be in Thor and shot it directly into the eyeball of World War Hulk.

And, despite appearances, the Sentry just didn't show up to mop things up.  He was there to crank things to 11, though really you've seen NYC get pulverized once this year, you've seen it all.  Once the Sentry had done his bit for King and country and had his agoraphobic butt handed to him (tangent for a moment:  does it bother anyone else as it does me that they everyone constantly refers to the Sentry's agoraphobia in those exact words.  'But, my agoraphobia-" and "he's agoraphobic" to name a couple of rather generic examples, it just seems that everyone just learned that word and want to use it as much as possible.  Jenkins didn't tell, he showed us why Bob distrusts the outside, but yet everyone including the Sentry himself constantly refer to his DSMIV status.  Anyway...), the book still isn't done with us.  A villain emerges!  Another battle happens where the Hulk takes out his frustrations on the actual planet!  We're cranking it to 12 here people!  It's like we finally have our title as it seems as if we're going to lose a good chunk of the eastern seaboard when Tony Stark nukes the Hulk from orbit.

Well, it's the only way to be sure.

And it's over and everyone goes back to their homes and we join their books, already in progress.  It's a big ending, don't get me wrong and probably the best thing I've read from Greg Pak yet but... it feels empty.  Less like Tony Stark saved the world (again), and more like the Hulk just stuck out his chin t take one for the team.  I mean, after all that destruction and chaos and large explosions... that's it?  Something that feels like they could have done it four issues ago?  I'm not saying they could (Tony was very busy at the time), but ...  ehn.

It seems to me (and a very good friend of mine) that World War Hulk ended because the Hulk wanted it to.  He was tired of being used, he was tired of being angry, he was just tired.  So he let Tony get in his orbital shot and let go.

Personally, I hope that the red Hulk isn't Banner.  That they let him rest in his little SHIELD torpedo tube and that he gets a break to rest, recover and return a hero, a misunderstood monster with a frightening past that could be anyone one just one bad day.  In my perfect world sans Bruce Jones, his little pod doo-dad would rest next to Betty Banner's and together, they could sleep and find peace where they could not find it in life.