Okay, so in the month of June to… maybe celebrate the release of the new Incredible Hulk film (which I will eventually get around to talking about here), we got a bunch of big heafty issues with some backup stories and reprints. Iron Man got two new books, all glossy and keen, all the Hulk got was a rock. It’s like they had the same prejudices of the movie going public had with “Well, the last one sucked so let’s see if we can just get to 0″. And before you say it, I know. Skaar, Son of Hulk is out too and today has the infamous ‘red’ Hulk runnign around, but neither of these are great intro comics for people who thought Edward Norton was keen. Now, Invincible Iron Man sold out at Metro because… we rule AND that the first issue was rather well paced, interesting and caught people up from the movie to the Way Things Are Now(tm), going light on the Director of SHIELD business and heavy on the Stane v. Stark story. Skaar, Son of Hulk DOESN’T HAVE THE HULK IN IT. In fact, I’d be BETTER if it was just called ‘Skaar, Conan in Space’ or ‘Grek Pak’s Interglatactic Tales of Skaar’. If the Hulk ain’t in the book, it is not a Hulk book. ‘Red’ Hulk doesn’t count because I have NO IDEA what’s going on with that story outside of an All Star Batman feel of taking on the tropes of Hulkness: smashing and gamma monsters. Ehn.
Mind you, Marvel did the same thing with Ang Lee’s movie as the 25-cent issue didn’t have the Hulk in it either and featured unwanted sexual advances (’Hey, kids! Like the movie? Here’s a comic for ya- oh wait.), but that’s another story.
Right, the ’specials’: King Size Hulk and Hulk: Raging Thunder and… the one that came out before both of those, Giant-Sized Incredible Hulk, with the Gary Frank cover. This is what Marvel brought to the table and, having read each of them, I can’t say I’m impressed. But yet, I can’t not like them (well, except for the Giant Size, because it was a snooze fest) and let me tell you why.
Both the King Size Hulk and Hulk: Raging Thunder have really light new content. The stories are short and sweet, in Raging Thunder’s case maybe a little too short and both of them seem really out of place. Did we really need to know what the Wendigo have been up to? How much ass does Frank Cho need to draw on a regular basis? (Answer: a LOT) These stories, while interesting, are interludes to a larger story at work that was delayed for one reason or another. If it was to fill in the ‘gaps’ of the main book… again, Wendigo? how much time as the red Hulk had betweent the end of World War Hulk and now? Why is She-Hulk still over here instead of getting disbarred and turning disillusioned bounty hunter in her own book? If it was to entice people into the main story, then welcome to a late and somewhat light on plot title! Yay?
So we get two short tales and then… THREE REPRINTS. And this is where my rage turns. You see, King Size Hulk came with the first appearance of Wolverine which is actually kind of cool. If you don’t have it, never read it, it’s a neat thing to get for your enjoyment, a little history for your money, plus it had the Hulk in it, which sort of qualifies it for a piggyback in the special. Sure, you could put a reprint of Hulk #181 in a Wolverine special (of which he has a truckload this summer), but this is a way to give a little showtime to the Hulk, kind of ‘cool by association’. Believe it or not, there are some people on this Earth that didn’t know that Wolverine first appeared in a non-mutant title and fought the Hulk right out of the bat, so history lessons for everyone.
And then… there was the other reprint: Avengers #83. Is the Hulk in this book? NO. Is She-Hulk maybe in this book? NO. Does this book have anything to do with anything Hulk related? NO. So why is it in this King Size Hulk? Because Carla loves the Lady Liberators. Really, that’s all I could think of because I really really love the Lady Liberators. I’d be mad at such a waste of a reprint in a Hulk special but it’s like finding a really cute kitten in a three car pile up. Sure, there’s damage and wreckage and someone should get the licence of the driver that caused it all but ohhhhh, lookit de kitty! Seriously guys, I feel like apologising because even though I have the issue, I have the Avengers DVD-ROM with this issue, I have the Essential Avengers volume with this issue, I was so happy to have yet ANOTHER COPY to show to customers and friends alike. Oh Valykrie and the Enchantress!
The second special actually has the same problem. It’s a rather left-field little tale about Thundra, warrior woman of a female-dominated planet, coming to Earth to fight the Hulk and get some DNA from him so that they could have a baby that would be strong enough to lead when Thundra has to step down from being the Warrior Princess. Or something. Yeah, and there’s a lot of fighting and metaphorical juxtapositon and yes, there’s a Femizon/Gamma hybrid girl being all awesome and cool, but…. really? Who’s been crying out for a Thundra vs. Hulk face off? I mean, did Marvel get my letters?
Again, this is another issue I should be really mad at. A weak story that will be forgotten to the annuls of time with the creation of a useless character that some poor fool will dredge back up when his own plots are failing in order to gain a cookie from the Fanboy Faction for his citation of this lost book and, yes, a reprint of Thundra’s first appearance in the Fantastic Four. Really, this should have been called Thundra: Gamma Rage or something because it’s not a Hulk story. The Hulk is a means to an end for the Femizons who lead the story with their goal of getting preggers (by the way, it’s through a kiss so everyone look disappointed). The reprint has nothing to do with the Hulk and once again, he gets the shaft in his own $3.99 special released when his movie hits theaters.
In fact, what’s the real story of Jeph Loeb’s Hulk? It’s about the Red Hulk which we all know isn’t Banner now. Skaar, Son of Hulk showed the Green Goliath in the recap but that’s it. For a movie that did so much to make you like Bruce Banner, that really hit the core of the old and VERY POPULAR TV show, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING like it in comic book form outside of back issues and reprint trades. What a sad, sad state of affairs.
Well, at least I got some reprint presents out of it? Sorry folks.
2 Comments
Having Frank Cho do the art and not draw a great big booty so big even white boys got to shout is like having Ed McGuiness not draw big squinty-eyed muscle men or or Rob Liefield not draw tons of belts, pouches, ginormous shoulder pads, and no ankles. Cho made his career off of cheesecake! HIS VERY CAREER.
Red Hulk’s just Loeb being a crazy guy who gets a free ride from Marvel, I guess. He ain’t been the same since his son died, I think, since before he wrote some stuff that, while not exactly Alan Moore level, was at least adequate. It had Thor, too. On the last page. You can’t really complain about the tease for a Thor/Hulk dust-up, eh? Eh?
Of course I can’t! There’s nothing wrong with mighty battles and if you take your thumb and place it over the word bubbles, Loeb’s Hulk isn’t that bad. McGuiness is drawing the heck out of that book and that certainly deserves some applause.
I just wish the story was up to snuff.