snap judgments

Okay, so in the month of June to… maybe celebrate the release of the new Incredible Hulk film (which I will eventually get around to talking about here), we got a bunch of big heafty issues with some backup stories and reprints.  Iron Man got two new books, all glossy and keen, all the Hulk got was a rock.  It’s like they had the same prejudices of the movie going public had with “Well, the last one sucked so let’s see if we can just get to 0″.  And before you say it, I know.  Skaar, Son of Hulk is out too and today has the infamous ‘red’ Hulk runnign around, but neither of these are great intro comics for people who thought Edward Norton was keen.  Now, Invincible Iron Man sold out at Metro because… we rule AND that the first issue was rather well paced, interesting and caught people up from the movie to the Way Things Are Now(tm), going light on the Director of SHIELD business and heavy on the Stane v. Stark story.  Skaar, Son of Hulk DOESN’T HAVE THE HULK IN IT.  In fact, I’d be BETTER if it was just called ‘Skaar, Conan in Space’ or ‘Grek Pak’s Interglatactic Tales of Skaar’.  If the Hulk ain’t in the book, it is not a Hulk book.   ‘Red’ Hulk doesn’t count because I have NO IDEA what’s going on with that story outside of an All Star Batman feel of taking on the tropes of Hulkness:  smashing and gamma monsters.  Ehn.

Mind you, Marvel did the same thing with Ang Lee’s movie as the 25-cent issue didn’t have the Hulk in it either and featured unwanted sexual advances (‘Hey, kids!  Like the movie?  Here’s a comic for ya-  oh wait.), but that’s another story.

Right, the ‘specials’:  King Size Hulk and Hulk: Raging Thunder and… the one that came out before both of those, Giant-Sized Incredible Hulk, with the Gary Frank cover.  This is what Marvel brought to the table and, having read each of them, I can’t say I’m impressed.  But yet, I can’t not like them (well, except for the Giant Size, because it was a snooze fest) and let me tell you why.

Both the King Size Hulk and Hulk: Raging Thunder have really light new content.  The stories are short and sweet, in Raging Thunder’s case maybe a little too short and both of them seem really out of place.  Did we really need to know what the Wendigo have been up to?  How much ass does Frank Cho need to draw on a regular basis?  (Answer: a LOT)  These stories, while interesting, are interludes to a larger story at work that was delayed for one reason or another.  If it was to fill in the ‘gaps’ of the main book… again, Wendigo?  how much time as the red Hulk had betweent the end of World War Hulk and now?  Why is She-Hulk still over here instead of getting disbarred and turning disillusioned bounty hunter in her own book?  If it was to entice people into the main story, then welcome to a late and somewhat light on plot title!  Yay?

So we get two short tales and then… THREE REPRINTS.  And this is where my rage turns.  You see, King Size Hulk came with the first appearance of Wolverine which is actually kind of cool.  If you don’t have it, never read it, it’s a neat thing to get for your enjoyment, a little history for your money, plus it had the Hulk in it, which sort of qualifies it for a piggyback in the special.  Sure, you could put a reprint of Hulk #181 in a Wolverine special (of which he has a truckload this summer), but this is a way to give a little showtime to the Hulk, kind of ‘cool by association’.  Believe it or not, there are some people on this Earth that didn’t know that Wolverine first appeared in a non-mutant title and fought the Hulk right out of the bat, so history lessons for everyone.

And then… there was the other reprint: Avengers #83.  Is the Hulk in this book?  NO.  Is She-Hulk maybe in this book?  NO.  Does this book have anything to do with anything Hulk related?  NO.  So why is it in this King Size Hulk?  Because Carla loves the Lady Liberators.  Really, that’s all I could think of because I really really love the Lady Liberators.  I’d be mad at such a waste of a reprint in a Hulk special but it’s like finding a really cute kitten in a three car pile up.  Sure, there’s damage and wreckage and someone should get the licence of the driver that caused it all but ohhhhh, lookit de kitty!  Seriously guys, I feel like apologising because even though I have the issue, I have the Avengers DVD-ROM with this issue, I have the Essential Avengers volume with this issue, I was so happy to have yet ANOTHER COPY to show to customers and friends alike.  Oh Valykrie and the Enchantress!

The second special actually has the same problem.  It’s a rather left-field little tale about Thundra, warrior woman of a female-dominated planet, coming to Earth to fight the Hulk and get some DNA from him so that they could have a baby that would be strong enough to lead when Thundra has to step down from being the Warrior Princess.  Or something.  Yeah, and there’s a lot of fighting and metaphorical juxtapositon and yes, there’s a Femizon/Gamma hybrid girl being all awesome and cool, but…. really?  Who’s been crying out for a Thundra vs. Hulk face off?  I mean, did Marvel get my letters?

Again, this is another issue I should be really mad at.  A weak story that will be forgotten to the annuls of time with the creation of a useless character that some poor fool will dredge back up when his own plots are failing in order to gain a cookie from the Fanboy Faction for his citation of this lost book and, yes, a reprint of Thundra’s first appearance in the Fantastic Four.  Really, this should have been called Thundra: Gamma Rage or something because it’s not a Hulk story.  The Hulk is a means to an end for the Femizons who lead the story with their goal of getting preggers (by the way, it’s through a kiss so everyone look disappointed).  The reprint has nothing to do with the Hulk and once again, he gets the shaft in his own $3.99 special released when his movie hits theaters.

In fact, what’s the real story of Jeph Loeb’s Hulk?  It’s about the Red Hulk which we all know isn’t Banner now.  Skaar, Son of Hulk showed the Green Goliath in the recap but that’s it.  For a movie that did so much to make you like Bruce Banner, that really hit the core of the old and VERY POPULAR TV show, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING like it in comic book form outside of back issues and reprint trades.  What a sad, sad state of affairs.

Well, at least I got some reprint presents out of it?  Sorry folks.

So, with a certain movie on the horizon, I got linked some of the ky00test Hulk toys for the Marvel Super Hero Squad line. Just like Lil’Galactus, these do delight and create the oohs and awws. But there’s just something about this one…

… that really makes me want to run some sort of captioning contest or something.

So, we get in a call at the store because the local News-Press has heard something of this ‘Iron Man’ fellow that seems to be a hit with the youngsters, so they want to talk to us about it.  The torch is passed to the Comic Shop Girl (and let’s be honest, it’s for my enthusiasm and the fact I can spout this stuff off the top of my head) and they come by for an interview…

… which makes it to the front page.  Go fig.

SORRY!  Wrong link, though I admire Lydia’s candor and wasn’t so much of a cheerleading shill to say the same myself.  Nope!  Here’s Yours Truly with the rah-rah for the store, Iron Man and anything else you pu in front of me.

Please note:  It’s me, a dog who sadly died and new Child Pornography laws.  It really was a slow news day.  But I said my best, got misquoted and spoke positively about comics in the media and how business changed what was once a child’s medium.  Sounds good, right?

It even got us a bit of business.  So that’s good there.

So, everyone know about the DC vs. Mortal Combat game coming out that seems ridiculous?

Good.

When the news came over the wire at Blog@Newsarama, me and my fellow employees laughed and all of us were transported back to the mid ’90s in a furious flurry of “Who could beat who?” questions. Of course I’ll play his hotshot new gamet as I spent a good hundred dollars in total trying learning Sonja’s “Kiss of Death” fatality back in my younger years, but thankfully everything I wanted to say plus an extra dose of cleverness was taken by Alt Text.

Thanks, sir.

Yesterday… I downloaded my first comic online last night, given to me by a friend. Please, Dan Slott, please don’t come and kick my ass.
To be fair, I own the comic in question and didn’t want to hunt down the damned thing and scan it into the computer for an article I wound up not using anyway, soooo…

It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. Still, I used the Essential version I had of the comic (that’s right, I owned it in two formats!) to really read it and then clipped what pics I needed for my point.

But doing this made me once again realize that there is just something about holding a comic in your hands instead of this new fangled media. For the digital fans, I have no idea how you do it; my scanned copy was really well scanned and had all the info I needed, it just wasn’t the same. I own the Avengers and Hulk DVD-Roms that Marvel’s smart enough to put out (wow, I actually own THREE different versions of that comic. My guilt for the download lessens by each moment!) and while they are nice, they are also difficult to navigate and see correctly depending on screen resolution. Marvel’s Digital Comics Online are readable and fix a lot of the above and yet… I poked around there yesterday and still I longed for the paper and ink set. To be able to take my comics with me to lunch and go sit outside. To (*gasp!*) give them away or curl them up and put them in my bag.

There’s a physical element to comics I think that really can’t be denied.