snap judgments

Mighty Avengers #12 promised in its solicitation all those months ago to let the reader in on the little secrets of Nick Fury. Where has he been? What has he been doing? And I do quote:

The Eisner-award-winning team of Brian Bendis and Alex Maleev (NEW AVENGERS ILLUMINATI, HALO: UPRISING) reunite to answer the question that has been on every comic fan’s mind for years…WHERE THE HELL HAS NICK FURY BEEN?? Rewinding the clock to Fury’s time in SECRET WAR, follow Fury as he puts together the pieces of his life and starts finding clues to a Secret Invasion that makes him TARGET NUMBER ONE. A major Skrull reveal happens in these pages!

Well, reading through this issue I hate to have to do this but … if you haven’t been reading anything of Bendis’s work in the past couple years since Secret War, you might want to rethinking having the Avengers on your pull for a little while (if these reviews haven’t made you drop an otherwise ‘meh’ book already). Thanks to being able to take a book into the back on a break every so often, I like to think of myself as well-read regarding the Marvel Universe and boy, this issue proves me wrong.

All you need to know is that Nick Fury went underground after Secret War because of his actions during the series. Contessa goes to see him, turns out to be a Skrull (THAT’S THE BIG REVEAL? You serious?) and so after he shoots her, Fury goes… uhm, even more underground and keeps tabs on SHIELD using all his awesomeness and Jessica Drew because she’s the superest super agent ever. Me, no I’m not bitter.

A lot of this is stuff we already knew, right? Who didn’t know Nick Fury was underground? We’ve been told for the past few months he knew of the Skrull threat to Earth, so him going around and checking on the Skrullometer of SHIELD isn’t all that new and/or exciting. Nick Fury beating his former base of operations at their own game should be rather thrilling, but there’s no danger of being caught and Maria Hill isn’t all that dangerous faced with the awesome might of Nick Fury. He goes to see Director Hill once she takes over his old job (as she sleeps in her underwear), gives her the ol’ narrow eyes and jumps away to safety. They ask her if he took anything while he was rooting about and then… we cut to Spider-Woman. It’s as if the book really wants to tell us something but doesn’t trust itself to be as exciting after the reveal.

And for Heaven’s sake! If Spider-Woman isn’t on EVERY side she’s a remarkably flat character. A lot of this is rehash and the details require your back issue collection if you’re curious about the timeline from ages ago until now. I’m sure it’s rewarding to go back and find out how this book overlaps with Secret War, the Avengers titles, Civil War and Spider-Woman: Origin but I really miss the little yellow footnotes. I know it’d disrupt the art (which would be a real crime), but even Wolverine: Origins when they started used to put notation in the back from all the issues they referenced.

Mind you, the art is spectacular (uncanny even!) and is nearly worth the price of admission right there. But as far as content, it’s on the light side.

What everyone is going to be talking about is the final page of Nick Fury and his big wall o’ poloroids. Some people are circled! Some people are not circled! The circles are different colors! WHO DO YOU CIRCLE?

Blue Circles: Spider-Man, Daredevil, Lockjaw, Stature and Namor
Red Circles: Wolverine, Sentry, Hulkling and Doctor Strange

You can infer about these circles until the cows come home but considering on how light this issue was on serious clues with discernible information, then I wouldn’t look back until one of these characters rears their Skrully heads. This book is going to enjoy being smarter than its readers for awhile. Settle in.

from the CBR interview with Christos Gage:

The stars of “Reason in Madness,” Thunderbolts director Norman Osborn and team member Venom, are both mentally unhinged — hence the title– but they also share a common history as Spider-Man foes. “That history will come into play in our story,” Gage said. “Without mentioning any names, Venom is approached by some old partners in crime who make him the proverbial offer he can’t refuse–in exchange for betraying Norman. One way or another, you know this can’t end well. You’ll see Norman Osborn really cut loose–and we’ll illustrate quite clearly why he’s the man in charge.”

The man in charge… of being Venom’s new host?   Probably not.  But it’s fun to think about?

Before we talk about the latest Mighty Avengers, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell everyone reading (hi mom!) that METRO ENTERTAINMENT is hosting a special 7th annual FREE COMIC BOOK DAY this Saturday, May 3rd.

Now, anyone visiting this site would have to be living under a rock not to know about Free Comic Book Day but lemme tell you how we do it Metro Style:

That’s right! Mighty Metro Entertainment‘s gonna have HELLA-BOOSTY BOB GALE live and in person at our humble location! WORD. He’ll be signing not only his Brand New run on Amazing Spider-Man, but I don’t think he’ll balk at personalizing your copies of his run on Daredevil (still on in trade those stingy Marvel execs!), the issues he did for Batman, maybe Ant-Man’s Big Christmas, that homey little movie blockbuster known as BACK TO THE FUTURE and THAT’S NOT ALL!  We’re also proud to have NATHAN KANE, a little someone you might know from Bongo’s fantastic line of Simpsons Comics!

“This sounds fantastic!,” says you (or so we here at Metro Entertainment hope). “But there’s no way I can make it to your store!” Never fear! You can at least get all three issues personally penned by Bob Gale at our on-line store!

All I know is that starting May 2nd? We are in for one wild ride, comic fans.  And that’s my Big Pimpin’.

Okay, so you know how in the last issue of Thunderbolts, the Swordsman and Venom go at it and in the very last page, there’s that big splash of the Swordsman’s sword going through the mid-section of Venom, only he’s pulled back the symbiote bits of him to show that the sword is actually disembowling (and probably electrocuting to some point) Max Gargan, the current host?

Deep breath, keep typing.

Get this:  what if that’s it for poor Gargan?  What if the symbiote is going to just let that guy die from the wound and go slink off somewhere else to find a new host?   It could happen; whatever the crazy telepath crew is doing in that book, the Venom symbiote tends to be rather demanding on its hosts and Gargan’s bitten off a lot more than he can chew with Venom.  No, really.  More than he can chew.

This would mean that the symbiote needs a new host.  Marvel’s been pretty coy, but there does seem to be big plans ahead for Venom and Spider-Man.

There’s something really frightening about this piece of teaser art.

Would they?  Could they?  DARE THEY?!?!

I’m going to go back to bed.  And leave the light on.

from Newsarama:

DiDio asked Jann Jones what’s coming up for the Johnny DC line, and she plugged Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade, a six-issue mini coming “hopefully in the fall” by the creators of the “Kids Gravity” series that originated In Disney Adventures.

Thank you, DC.

Okay, so bear with me on this one. I’m actually not into Harry Potter in the slightest (I’m one of those jerks who shouts they read it first when it was called THE BOOKS OF MAGIC!), but their fandom is absolutely amazng. The people who adore these books have produced some of the most inspiring and downright horrifying tales in the history of people who take fantasy too far. It’s great to watch, especially if you don’t have any emotional investment in it (which is why I’ll start throwing chairs if we don’t get the REAL Black Bolt back to the Marvel Universe).

So, quick quick version: a fan of the Harry Potter series sets up a website called the ‘Harry Potter Lexicon’ that puts all the information from the books in order. People love it and info geeks go wild; even the author JK Rowling thinks the whole thing is pretty faboo becase she gives them a shoutout for being so thorough with her information. All is well and the fan who runs the place (with the help of a few volunteers and other writers) thinks he’s got a little crown on his head and is full of pride.

A lot of pride, since he wants to publish the site as an official book. Not only is this a little odd since some of the material isn’t his as it was written by other authors, but… let’s face facts: when asked by JK Rowling if he could, she said no. That’s it, right?

Nope! Yesterday it all went to court in a big show of who has the right to the material, who’s being unfair and who’s just out for cash. Thanks to Fandom Wank for keeping me updated on this whole affair; contributor ‘cleolinda’ has brought the wise face of Galadriel to the lawsuit which makes it doubly classy.
There’s been everything from pie charts to snarky comments from the plaintiff and, despite her tearful admittance that this whole affair is effecting her writing, I can see how this should have been an open-and-shut case. No matter how you jazz it up, taking someone else’s info and arranging it alphabetically doesn’t make it yours. It’s great that he did that and I’m sure without this legal nonsense the author might have given a nod his way (technically, she already did!), but selling it is a whole other matter.

So, fair internet info geeks, let this be a lesson. While we hail you for giving us an online version of the Handbook to the Marvel Universe, or a comprehensive look at Hulk villains (to say the least), don’t publish these things and call it your own?

BONUS! Diane Duane gives us our own JKR vs. RDR lawsuit widget! Be kept up to date on how serious you can take the words “Lord Voldemort”!

John Cho is hitting the press junkets for Harold and Kumar II: the Wrath of NPH, but of course thoughts will turn to that Other Movie he’s going, oh yeah: STAR TREK. Our new Sulu told Access Hollywood that our Fu is stronger:

I kind of became became a Star Trek fan because it was on late and I would catch it on re-runs. It is something I appreciated more every year because it is a very mature show. It is a very thoughtful and meditative show. Whereas when I was a kid it was much easier to love something like [Star Wars] right off the bat, with the light sabers and stuff. Star Trek is much more mature than that.
-from trekmovie.com

Aw yeah.

Okay, you’ve probably already seen it a dozen other places by now (CBR being one of them), but I just have to say…

This is a HELL of a lot better than the Greg Land fiasco.

Do you think we’re going ot have to shell out extra cash for this one or will it be 50/50? Ooh! What if this was the standard cover and the poor Greg Land fans had to spend the extra money on his cover?

Or at least for a little while as we redesign and try to jazz up the join for the oncoming storm of Secret Invasion.  I promise regular funnybook pictures are on their way.

Today’s a day for shouting stuff.

Over at TrekMovie.com, the winners of the ‘Vreenie’ or Fake Contest are displayed in all their non-spoiler glory.

Makes you wonder if anyone could win a No-Prize for coming up with the best “________ is a Skrull!” story from Marvel?  Or are they too busy with their own in-house contest?

Gets me every time.