snap judgments

Stop it.

Stop it!

STOP!

Yikes! Did Tigra spit in Bendis’ coffee?

Now, as a service to his writing and for the sake of not making it look like a personal vendetta, here is the link to Marvel Comics’ website with the tag Women. They have a full list of other female superheroes that the Hood can bitch slap at his leasure.
In fact, here’s the whole Marvel Directory, a great list of characters from the entire Marvel Universe for him to use as an informant and to pump up Mr. Hood.

First time, shame on me. Second time, shame on you. Third time, just give it a rest.

At work, it’s well known my bemoaning the beating of Tigra because (and get this) I like the character. Sure, I may not like what she’s become, but I think the start of her story is an unplumbed goldmine of opportunity. It’s also well know amongst my fellow employees that I fall asleep when ever Donna Troy is on panel. I think that her original story is awesome too (a reflection of the original Wonder Woman?  That’s cool!), just what she’s become is so complicated and so, frankly, dull that I tend to flip through whatever book she’s in that I’m reading at the moment. It’s a trait I share wih my co-workers and it was posed to me if I would be so hands-in-the-air exasperated if it were Donna Troy getting put out like a bad cat.

And I’ll admit, if Forerunner from Countdown punked her out to show how awesome Forerunner is against someone as well known and titanically powered as Donna Troy, well… yeah. I’d be pissed. One, because Forerunner looks like she took a wrong turn at World-of-Warcraft-Night-Elf Junction, but because established characters should have more crediblity thatn that. Sure, I may not like Donna Troy but you can’t call it a comeback, she’s been here for years. She’s got cred and that has to be respected.

Speedball should have had some cred pre-Penance. Tigra should have some cred as an Avenger.

And Bendis should have some cred as the man who brought Ultimate Spider-Man to the heights of comic fandom.

The thing is, when the characters aren’t given their due, it really doesn’t make me want to give the writers any either. Just the facts.

Okay, this’ll be quick since I’m on a lunch break here at the ol’ comic shop as Santa Barbara gets a deluge of rain (by the by, thanks customers for braving the weather for your funny books!), but I just read Amazing Spider-Man #548 where something cool happened.

Spider-Man talked to a cabbie.

One of my favorite parts of the first Spider-Man movie is when the Green Goblin is threatening peril and danger and New Yorkers start throwing stuff at him.  I love seeing the odd passer-by in the comic again, that Peter’s life isn’t so self-centric that we don’t get a chance to see the people he’s risking life and limb to save.  What a novel idea!

It’s just another notch up to why Spider-Man is awesome.  You have to admit, a chat with Superman or Batman would be rather awkward, especially in the middle of do-gooding.  You can’t really recommend anything to Iron Man in the moment, even if it’s a good stock tip.  But Spider-Man can get away with riding a cab down busy New York streets but telling the cabbie lives are in danger and he needs the driver’s help.  The cabbie can strongly suggest Spider-Man get registered and save himself all this trouble.   Spider-Man is just as equal as a guy in a cab, there’s no lofty difference or authority to check.  They both want to make sure innocents don’t get hurt.  The Marvel hero in all of us.

Man, comics are great.

Okay, I’m really sold on Robert Downey Jr. I’m really sold on the Adi Granov designs. This movie is getting ready to look SO GOOD.

Which makes me ask one, tiny question: Where’s the publicity for the Incredible Hulk?

It’s dry as a bone out there for awesome new news of the second try at a Hulk movie that’s watchable over 15%.  Sure, Iron Man’s coming out first and I’m sure they want to get the word out on the movie with all the hip stars, but … not a peep? Not a desktop or a concept sketch or an interview or eight or … something? The website is dreadfully empty, the pics we have are not exactly telling… I don’t know. Not exactly inspiring the same selling points as Mr. Flashy Iron Man over here.

Give Norton some love, people.

Somedays, the ol’ blog-o-net makes me want to toss my laptop from a very high cliff.  Somedays, I’m trying to enjoy my funny books at the store and find myself politely nodding this this week’s blog-o-versy over what terrible thing DC is doing or how Joe Quesada slapped you like Zsa Zsa Gabor on a DUI charge.  And yes, somedays this makes it damn hard to get on the keys.  I take breaks.  Long walks in the park.  Watch a sunset.  Read Superman/Batman: Saga of the Super Sons.

But the best cure for the RAPED CHILDHOOD blues is other people.  I honestly feel better when I recommend a book I can guarantee will knock someone’s socks off or talk to someone who really knows what they want out of a comic and celebrates that, rather than laments over what’s not there.  Now I haven’t said anything about recent cover art on a certain Playboy magazine, despite having boobs and opinions, but everything I wanted to say, everything that could possibly cheer me up about blog-o-drama was eloquently and upstandingly said by Lisa Fortuner.

So thanks, Lisa (if I can call you Lisa?).  I needed that.

When I first started working at Metro, I had this strange obession with Incredible Hulk back issues. Mostly, it was due to a good friend of mine turning me on to how utterly awesome the Peter David run was, but I think a lot of it had to do with the thrill of your first employee discount. Anyhow, I got a lot, and I mean A LOT, of David written Hulk issues and came to adore the relationship between Bruce Banner and his wife, Betty. It was interesting to see someone who wasn’t super-powered at the side of a man who could quite possibly kill her at the wrong moment in time.? It was dangerous, but it was love and it was a new kind of story to the turn-of-the-millenium me.

If you ever get the trade of INCREDIBLE HULK BEAUTY & THE BEHEMOTH, you’ll find an awesome little note at the end of the book by Mr. David who opens up about why Betty had to go. It was personal, it was reasonable, and I cried a little bit over the last issue long after the woman had left the book and the writer shortly after.  I longed for her return, thinking of how General Ross still had her under stasis underground somewhere, giving the reader that little bit of ‘Well, maybe down the line…’. After all, this is comics.

When Jenkins got ahold of the Hulk in later issues, it was like a second coming for me. The man has such a way with heart-driven stories it really makes you feel like the person on the page is someone you know and the story is something they’re living through. (then again, ‘Penance’… I guess they can’t all be winners) Anyhow, his take on the Hulk was just a little stroke of genius for me and one of my favorite tales is, in fact, a deal with the Devil.

Devil Hulk, that is.   IRONY!  As Bruce Banner’s body suffers from an incurable disease, that dark, dark part of him best kept locked away from the light of day, attempts to get out.  Not by forcing his way through Banner’s psyche, no… something far more insidious.  Just for a moment, Bruce Banner is given the opportunity to live the life he’s always wanted: Betty alive and healthy, two darling children, a supporting cast of family and friends, a chance to be brilliant and never threaten anyone again with the Hulk and all his ills, it’s idyllic and soothes a torn heart.  All he has to do to live this one moment for the rest of his life is to give the Devil Hulk control of Banner’s body, allowing him to be the dominant personality while Bruce can live this fantasy in the back of his mind.  Everything he’s ever wanted, Bruce willingly denies himself so that the Devil Hulk remains locked away in his psyche; his kisses his wife goodbye, embraces his terrible nature, and wakes up with her name on his lips and tears in his eyes.

Oh, it’s incredible.  Simply incredible.  I read the issues constantly and inflict them on co-workers when I can.  This marked the second time I had to say goodbye to Betty Banner and I again found myself in tears, but with a stronger feeling of her passing.  This was it, I thought.  Bruce can’t have his wife back because she’s a part of his woes, the weight on his shoulders.  It was because of his monstrous alter-ego (through the attentions of the Abomination) that she died; if he had been the little milksop and had no Hulk to speak of, she’d still be alive today.  They might have had those two kids by now.

But Betty didn’t choose that, she chose Bruce for better or worse.  There were times she was in the arms of another man, times she was even a nun for Heaven’s sake!  But it always came back to Bruce, danger or no.  Sorrow or no.  For better and worse, sometimes at the same time.  Because Bruce chose to accept that, because he denied the dark impulses of his deepest nature and kept on keepin’ on despite the easy road being offered, he kept Betty’s memory alive and I was cool with that.  I was cool with her being gone as this was my second exposure to putting her to rest; this time, it really kicked in.

Then there was Bruce Jones.

And you know what?  Those issues don’t exist for me.  I don’t want to hear that Betty was revived, given plastic surgery and gamma powers and that all of the deep emotional impact that hit me hard because of two fantastic writers is lost to some dumb story that had little ties to what came before it.  I could go on about how bad those stories were, how angry I got at Marvel for allowing Jones to run roughshod over these characters and how little of it made sense, but in the end that doesn’t change a thing.  The marriage has run its course, Betty Banner lives on through the characters and her death was not in vain.  It’s a little bit of the best kind of irony that Bruce Jones’s Betty was placed on ‘Nightmare Island’ at the end of Peter David’s last run at the book.

So does this relate to anything?  I don’t know, it’s not for me to decide.  All I know is that I miss Betty Banner… but on the other hand, I kind of don’t.  I think that’s good writing.

The comment that got me in trouble?  I hear my manager and a customer talking about the Messiah CompleX as he’s picking up a good chunk of issues and Mister Manager is going on about how this ‘really changes things for the X-Men’ and it seems like there’s a lot more at stake.  I ask, quite innocently I’ll admit, what exactly is at stake?  We kind of know why Sinister would want the baby (genetic experimentation) and why the Purifiers would want the baby (Destroy All Mutants!) but why is Cyclops so dead set on no one else, not even his own son (Hey!  Back from the dead!  You’d think it’d make him happy), getting to the finish line with the baby.  Why he’d sacrifice Madrox to learn about the future.  Why he’s kicking Xavier to the curb and hiring on a secret super stabbing team.  Why he and Wolverine seem so chummy all of a sudden!

Right.

So I know I stopped reading Messiah CompleX due to the fact I couldn’t tell what was going on, why Cyclops would send a kill-death squad after his own son after assuming seemingly suddenly that Cable sicc’d Sentenels on the Mansion (long story) and why everyone seemed so blasé about sending Madrox into two different  timelines without 1) figuring out what kind of effect this would have an effect on the original guy  and 2) expecting him TO KILL HIMSELF to download the new info to the original guy.  Yikes, talk about forgetting to care about the men under your command.  I understand they want to make Scott Summers ‘x-treeeme’ to placate some readers (like a man who’d watched the love of his life DIE horrifically how many times and led the X-Men through Hell and Back,  sacrificed his life to try and destroy Apocalypse and raised his son by  travelling to the future ISN’T hardcore enough for you people), but come on!  This is getting into ’90s Image title territory.  Expect big pouches soon.

Enough complaining.  We sold out of X-Factor #27 (part 11 of 13, better end this nonesense quick!), but I managed to grab a copy and read it  before it was a black spot on our shelves.  Warning:  SPOILERS.

(more…)

They took my front counter pick away.

Before my shift was over at the store, they took my front counter pick away and replaced it with something else.  The manager said it was because I was going to be off work soon, but this was the first time any of my suggestions had been taken away from their cozy nook at the registers for that last minute buy and/or sell while I was still in the room and in front of me.  I wanted to fold a little flag and march it to its final resting place after being so brave and bold.

I think a point was being made pretty clearly to me by my co-workers, one that’s been made for the past week or so by a heft of fans at large.

You see, my pick was Amazing Spider-Man #546.  I liked Brand New Day.

I didn’t find it ‘boring’, I had no major reaction to Peter kissing some girl on the first page, I’m not boycotting it because of One More Day, I even looked forward to its release and can’t wait to see the next issue.  The back up stories were a great way to get us interested in each writer’s style and the tone of what’s to come.  Even Greg Land only used two other reference photos that he uses for everything else!  Dan Slott was witty, Harry Osborn’s return intrieguing and the supporting characters did just that: supported the main story and gave me a feel for where Peter was at nowadays.  Colors seemed brighter, birds sang a little sweeter and, hand to God, this looked like fun.  Peter’s a bit of a lovable loser and- get this -the thought balloon WORKED, helping out the narrative by putting me in Peter’s head without being annoying or overused.  SOMEONE GET BENDIS ON THE PHONE!  It’s been so long to see Peter plagued by something simple, like humility or missing shoes, rather than the madness of mystical mishaps and over-angsting emo-attitude that has had him at the edge of death threats.  It was good, not the pinnacle of comics everywhere nor good enough to change my opinion that One More Day was a bad storyline, and I judged it based on its own merit.  When I opened the store, it sat next to me at the counter and I came in ready to sell.

The manager didn’t agree.  He was polite about it, but the book was stank of what had come before, trapped in a world it didn’t create.  Customers have come into the store with pitchforks and torches in their eyes and the staff have commiserated on what a ‘slap in the face’ this all is, effectively continuing the hype of ‘the Worst. Storyline. EVER.’   I don’t think it’s a stretch of the imagination to think that the man in charge today simply didn’t like the book.  But when I take Messiah CompleX to task for not exactly being clear on the stakes of the story, I get in trouble because I’m talking down a sale.  I find my front counter pick politely escorted off the counter.  Oh, the politics of fandom.

Spider-Man, ladies and gents.  I’m a Brand New Day pariah.  I WEAR THE SCARLET SPIDER!   Though that would be worse, since the Clone Saga was lame and the actual Scarlet Spider really silly looking.

But I don’t mind being silly looking.

One More Day?

IT’S OVER!

That’s the best thing I can say on it, but apparently, other people can say a heck of a lot more, most of it pretty damning.  I hate to say this, but the more people get mad, talk about it and say what anyone with a history of reading Spidey books knows (that it’s a pretty lame idea to have your flagship character known for his moral compass to make a deal with the devil, that magic doesn’t fix everything, that erasing a major part of Peter Parker’s history is a unneeded plot twist, etc.)… the worse you make it for the new guys.

Now there’s a job you have to give some sympathy towards: try jumping on to a title after the EiC has set it on fire in front of the fans.

These new guys, from every interview and talk they’ve given, just want to write Spider-Man.  They want to make him a good guy again and have some fun in our funny books.  Have people forgotten that Dan Slott, one of the wittiest guys Marvel’s got, is going to be writing your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man??  When did this become a bad thing?  Why aren’t people dancing in the streets that the reign of JMS is over?

Hey, says the reader, JMS did a lot of good for Spider-Man and put the book back on the map!  Don’t blame him!  Well, you know what?  Gwen Stacy’s teen pregnancy by a man old enough to be her father.   Whatever the heck The Other was supposed to be about.  All that Spider Totem mombo-jumbo.  He’s done some good, sure (I thought Peter teaching high school science was a stroke of genius, but you saw how much that got used in the book), but he’s also done some pretty lousy stories as well.  We’re all human.

So he’s done.  Brand New Day lies ahead.  Accentuate the positive, people.  And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.