snap judgments

I’m flagging this one out of the usual preview books (which did eventually come in, thanks UPS!) because this is the last issue of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.  Peter David was brought on the book and had a rough time of things right out fo the gate;  the Other divided the brand new title between a bunch of writers, it was tossed between events like a leaf on the wind, dealt mostly with time travel and alternate universe stories and generally tried to be the little man with the broom at the end of the Peabody & Sherman parade.   For the most part, I’ve wanted to like it but have been held back by storylines connecting to events I’m not fond of and the general direction the character has taken in recent years.  Being written by Peter David, I was hoping for lighter fare.  With the name Friendly Neighborhood, I was hoping for some family fun.    And yet, here we are.

Last issue we find out that Peter Parker found out that J. Jonah Jameson fired Robbie Robertson and is going to go do something about it… son.  Sorry, got on a roll.  Anyhow, after seeing Amazing Spider-Man, I got a little worried when the issue starts out with Jonah going to see the Robertson family with a broken hand and a black eye.  Peter recently went on a rampage and kicked the holy hell out of the Kingpin, would he be so ruthless as to do the same to his old boss?
WAIT WHY AM I EVEN QUESTIONING THIS!?!  This is FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD Spider-Man!  There is nothing friendly or neighborhood about a gangland style beating! (Yes, make your own joke about neighborhoods here)  Have we gone so far that I have to wonder if Spider-Man is going to totally flip out and stab people on an issue-by-issue basis?  Horrified, I kept turning pages.
Spider-Man lures J. Jonah to an abandoned boxing gym that came from a crime boss he brusted awhile back.  Worried, I keep reading.  There’s generally a lot of flipping about and yelling between Spider-Man and Jameson respectively as Spider-Man reads Jonah’s actions like a book.   Spidey tries to get Jonah to budge on the lawsuit or the rehire of Robbie and to the best of his character, Jameson isn’t having any of it.  And that when Spider-Man tells Jonah to hit him.
Wha?  Peter Parker takes of the mask (I flinch!  Oh, Peter, don’t Kingpin this guy!) and eggs Jameson on to hit him.  And, surprise surprise, after enough taunts and valid reasoning, Jonah does.  Big splash page, Jameson just decking little Peter Parker.  As the beating continues, I could not tell you who I was rooting for.  After breaking his hand on the guy, they call it a day.  Peter gives Jameson a roll of film with the whole event (?) and says to print it.  After going back to the Bugle, the film is crushed under Jameson’s foot and … he runs into a door.  Something funny had to be in the book.
In the end, we learn that this was all just a ploy because Parker is SO EMO that he wants people to punish him for every one he didn’t save and the rather miserable turn his life has taken.  You can poke Jonah with a stick and get he same effects as a bee’s nest, so thus the pounding.  Jonah had no real reasn to fire Robbie, so that was a ploy too; firing a friend would get Parker’s attention and force a meeting between the two.  I feel really used.
But that’s Spider-Man for you, even a friendly neighborhood one.