snap judgments

Why is it I do my best thinking around 11pm at night?

And what the heck is wrong with this week?  Good God.  One ill-fated birthday later, I find myself in shock over a serious tragedy within the wrestling community, carless as the borrowed car (first one gave its last a couple weeks ago) blew a tire, showless as Oh Hell Yeah’s Spencer Carnage played a gig in my home town I couldn’t attend (and boy is my face not seeing cool rock music!), but today, to hit the stride of WTF? Week, Silent War #6 came out.

I’d like to say it ended the six-issue mini-series, but really the issue didn’t even get that far.  I apologise to both the people who read this series as well as those who haven’t, as the following will be just a rant for a book you haven’t read.  The short version is that SHIELD does a terrible thing, providing a distraction for Maximus the Mad to use his new hold on the mind of Medusa to have her use Luna to fix their son, creating a family for Maximus and a power base that, as Atillan is reduced to rubble from an extremely terrible act on behalf of SHIELD, he can take control of the Inhuman populace and rule supreme.  As he orders an invasion of Earth and his brother Black Bolt to take his place in the dungeons, Luna sneaks down to see her more sane Uncle.  As she begs him for some way to fix all of this, we get a close up of Black Bolt’s lips and a sold black page at the series finale.

Yeah.  Where do I even start?  Let’s try a list.

1)  When does this happen? 
-When we started this affair, the Fantastic Four faced Gorgon and his rag-tag squad as a whole and hale team with the familiar roster.  So, that puts #1 at he start of Civil War.  According to World War Hulk, Black Bolt is able to meet the incoming Hulk on the surface of the moon with Medusa at his side.  Now, I can understand the Civil War timing as the story played itself out;  it was fairly self-contained and not too many bigger players got adjusted or put in a situation that tey couldn’t get out of later.  But between Silent War #6 and World War Hulk #1, the big peril that Maximus put the entire Atillan race under and the big cliffhanger set at the end of the mini-series has to be resolved.  In the tradition of Astonishing X-Men, the world has moved ahead from your silly plots and the impact of your story is no more because we know everyone has to be fine so that the Hulk can kick Black Bolt’s ass.  As of now, there are no comics publicly announced that would resolve Maximus’s coup and declaration of conquest on Earth.

2) This is nothing new.
-Wow, so Maximus the Mad has mind controlled the other Inhumans into following him in some mad scheme to conquer Earth.  If this was done creatively or from a different angle or as the means to a larger arc even (say, the Skrull plot), I might be up to give some leeway.  But this story is nothing new.  The Inhumans side of things plays out as if these people have no idea that there’s a psychotic madman in their basement and they didn’t just go through one of his turn the US against the Inhumans plots a few years back in the Jenkins/Lee mini.  Shouldn’t they have something more secure than a little light cage to hold his metaphorical evil black squid in?  Shouldn’t their be guards posted at all times reporting that their Queen is acting a little shady around the GUY THAT MANIPULATES PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS?  I know you can’t take away the awesome villainy power that is Maximus the Mad, but can’t their be more than just ‘use Luna to let him out and run roughshod over a people who should be totally use to this by now?

3) Luna as MacGuffin
-She and Layla Miller should have a plot device-off.  Taking a rather poignant story of tolerance within your own family, Luna was the human daughter born to mutant Quicksilver and Inhuman Crystal.  Long ago, there was a fantastic story about Quicksilver’s fear of raising a ‘normal’ daughter and his fight to expose her to the Terrigen Mists to ensure she fulfill her genetic potential.  In the end, he chose not to expose her and learned an important lesson.  An important lesson that was tossed out the window in House of M so that little Luna could have rather undefined powers that do little more than help push plot along.  Marvel.com defines them as “<a href=”http://www.marvel.com/universe/Maximoff,_Luna” target=”_blank”>the ability to see someone’s feelings. She also seems to have demonstrated the ability to shut down sections of people’s minds</a>.”.  Now, seeing someone’s feelings doesn’t make much sense as far as a supernatural power;  sure, it might be a fun thing to draw auras but we all know how useful Deanna Troi was on Star Trek: the Next Generation.  Personally, I would call them ‘empathy’ as she seems to have some sort of offensive ability as well, but perhaps it’s best stated as a “<a href=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGuffin” target=”_blank”>plot device that motivates the characters and/or advances the story, but has little other relevance to the story</a>.”  I wish we saw more of her story, the fear of losing her father, the fact she literally saw him go mad, the fact that her family that she grew up with is falling apart and that she seems to be the instrument of their destruction.

4) Too much going on for Six Issues
-I mean, look how it ended!  That wasn’t an ending!  This is a ‘to be continued’ as a finale when they haven’t greenlighted another season!  Maximus taking Atillan, okay, that’s about a few issues right there, as Atillan is a fairly important pocket of the Marvel Universe.  It became important when Bendis put Black Bolt in his Illuminati and had him shape major events in Earth’s development.  The idea that someone like that could be overthrown has an impact.  Declaring a REAL War on Earth (as if Earth didn’t have enough problems right now), also a few issues dealing with the hostilities and threats against an entire planet.  A more overt war with Earth-

-okay, just to let you know, I feel really weird saying Earth when the only perpective we ever get is from the good ol’ USA.  I mean, it’s not like the Hulk declared war on England here; he landed in New York with a purpose.  And France didn’t start the Secret War with Atillan, it was the US in withholding their native alien technology.  So, sorry rest of the world, I’m just lumping you all in here.

-anyhow, a more overt war against Earth could be an event in and of itself.  Plus, there’s the rather shady dealings of SHIELD with tech that rightfully does not belong to them in horrible experiments that literally kill people rather violently.  Which brings me to the worst of it.

5)  Suicide Bombers.
-Not cool, Marvel.  I really could forgive the above as just personal preference and lackluster storytelling.  We all know that the more important the characters are to you, the higher your blood pressure goes when you feel that they’re not being ‘treated well’.  What some might call an outrage, other people might shrug off or laud as a radical and bold change.  But, I don’t think it’s that big of a stretch to call SHIELD authorizing, supporting and initiating suicide bombers against Atillan absolutely retarded.

Now, in the story, a select group of soldiers who are primed and ready to die at the command of their superior are exposed to the Mists and given temporary super powers that doom them to die.  These soldiers are sent to the moon to battle the Inhumans who can honestly take people who’s insides are being torn apart by energies they were never meant to have.  One guy’s head pops off, at which point the soldiers surrender and are taken into custody by the Inhumans.  One of these soldiers wasn’t exposed, however, and instead carried explosives.

As the soldiers are escorted to holding cells, Maria Hill personally activates ‘KISMET‘ from a control room watching the figh go down and when the soldier is on target, she doubles over, stutters out a ‘God Bless America’ and explodes, killing herself, the rest of her squad and leaving Atillan in rubble, burying Black Bolt in the blast and I’m sure doing some harm to the Inhumans in the area as well.

Let me say this again:  SHIELD wrapped a woman in explosives and detonated her in order to destroy people who didn’t have to be an enemy if the Fantastic Four had just gotten their heads out of their asses and talked to the people who used to watch their kids on weekends.  An American citizen (albeit fictional) tried to kill people she felt were the enemy because her government didn’t understand them.  SHIELD supports terrorist  tactics that, in real life, are considered cowardly and wrong.  Bill Maher got kicked off the air by calling people who do such actions ‘warriors‘ and now here are our heroes sending in people to kill themselves for their beliefs.

Silent War #6 was a horrible disappointment.