snap judgments

Everyone remember that comics come in this week on Thursday due to Memorial Day?

Didn’t think so.  I forgot up until Monday, myself.  But please, do go visit anyway.  Your local comic shop is going to have plenty of people poking their head in, looking at the clerks, and then zipping out the moment they here there’s no new books.  Some stores have sales on these kinds of days, just sayin’.

But…. how can I put this?  Don’t stay too long?

Being a little pop culture mecca in the heart of downtown Santa Barbara, our customers are diverse and knowledgable on all sorts of cool topics, from movies to video games, RPG systems and the far reaches of fandom.  Some store so much of this knowledge they wear it like a badge of honor, proudly displaying their latest gossip on Dark Knight casting rumors or in-dept study of Drow fighting techniques like bright plumage or great crest ridges in order to show thier status.

They are the info geeks.   People for whom knowing all of this is almost as good or even better than how much they enjoy the topic of discussion.

Personally, I love these guys.  How else am I to learn what movie is set to open at what theater or which one of the Legion of Super-Heroes can bench the most weight?  I too, am a bit of an info geek, rather proud of my X-Men History lore and my depth of TP knowledge in our store.  The thing is, I can only love them FOR SO LONG.

Guy came in yesterday, he’s a regular… but I cannot remember the last time I actually sold him anything.  He chatted us up in the store for over an hour and a half, talking about this movie to come out, what director is doing what, where the last X-Men failed, the love letter to Donner’s Superman that Superman Returns was… it didn’t stop until the enabling employee went on lunch, I averted my gaze and the head manager was back from his break.  Upon leaving, he also did that multiple goodbye thing where he’s not really gone until you present eye contact and clearly state a concluding remark.

An hour and a half.  Not even the act of helping other customers would sway his words.  He was respectful, so I was in return by not shouting “OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE!”  And, the most damning of all, I fell for it.  I was an enabler; he asked me about going to the Star Wars: Celebration IV con this last weekend and I answered and we got into a discussion about Star Wars and Star Trek.  As nerdcore as I am, I cannot resist the lure of talking Trek.  I too wanted to display my plumage and get acknowledgment for all of my well formed opinions.  I lured him in and the next thing you know, it’s an hour and a half later and I’m envying the guy going on lunch because he’s escaping.

So, I thought about it, and on slow days (and I’m talking SLOW, the empty sort of days where you can run through the store waving your hands in the air and go ‘Woo woo woo woo!’), I thik I can take an info geek for about…  a half an hour.   The length fo a good sitcom.  After that half hour mark, signs of wear show.  And no matter what, after an hour has passed, it’s time to go.  If you haven’t bought anything, you’re not digging through back issues, you’re not watching a movie, go home.  Come back and regale us with tales of when you used to read comics another day.

If we have customers?  Ten minutes, tops.  I got stuff to do, sir.

This may seem harsh, but your millage may vary.

So, Atomic Comics had this little news thing on Dark Knight casting and how Anthony Michael Hall has been “sworn to secrecy” over his role in the upcoming movie.  Now, thanks to how freakin’ AWESOME the ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com campaign was, I feel moved to start the guessing game.

Remember folks:  this is the way to incite your audience.  By making them think. 

According to the Atomic Comics article, Mr. Hall says that his scenes will be filmed in August with Morgan Freeman “implying his role will have more to do with the business side of Bruce Wayne’s life than the jumping-around-dark-alleys part.”  Makes sense, I mean, they’re going to have the Joker and the start or at least the tip of the iceberg of Two-Face.  But that doesn’t mean we’re not looking at a villain here.  My early nomination goes to:

 The Riddler.

…and it always is, sir.  Thanks Bully, for keeping it real and plush.

I think I should just stick with the comics.

And on that subject!

I have some crow to eat: right now, I feel I am able to say that I really like the New Avengers. And I mean that, no trickery or sneakiness or anything. I like that book. It’s not perfect, but within the issues post-Civil War I have seen more focus in a team book than I thought Bendis was able to do. I know he’s not very good at writing team books and he said as much at the start, which is a very brave thing to say (just not execute for 25 issues, wasting time and money). With this underground team, there seems to be some actual avenging going on as they clean up Echo, band together in the face of the Registration Act and try and protect themselves and their own.  Heck, I now know more about the legality of the act and how the judicial system would handle something like this from two pages with Danny Rand’s lawyer than from the Civil War entire.

So…. what in God’s name is going on with the Mighty Avengers?

Now, I know some fellow blogarians are perfectly cool with the last couple issues. Some recognize Bendis’s style for what it is and forgive a lot of the shortcoming based on the fact that “It’s Bendis, he just likes to talk a lot in his books and I know it’s going to get better”.

Screw that.

This book was billed as a “back to basics” style Avengers book, with the heroes and the fighting and the villainy, right? Wizard promised me a “lighter, fresher narrative style and a faster pace that scoots the title’s action along like a roller coaster bonanza”. It took them the entirety of issue #2 to figure out that the semi-naked chick was Ultron. I’m not exactly holding on to my hat here. Ms. Marvel takes the time to step a few yards away with her team to debate retreat, which not only makes her look weak but… kind of stupid. It’s not as if a super powerful robot skimped on being able to hear.

Why are they here?  In this brave new world of registration, the Avengers are redundant and serve the sole purpose of stroking Tony Stark’s ego.  He wanted them, he got them.  Aren’t there supposed to be fifty other hero teams out there?  Shouldn’t they be competent and able to take on anything the Avengers would be flying around for?  Now, if it was a matter of ‘well, the Fifty States Initiative needs some time to get on their feet’, then okay.   But as poorly as this team has been performing, at a threat they have handled countless times, it’s not making much sense.

And is it me, or did another book this week actually refer to the Stark sanctioned team as ‘Mighty’?

All you need to know:  skip this one.  I’ll let you know if anything cool happens.

And here I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I might be a problem because of my low tolerances. Maybe I just was part of the problem instead of the solution. I even met Adam Hughes yesterday at the Star Wars: Celebration IV yesterday and I didn’t throw a bottle of detergent at him screaming ‘Laundry is Murder!’ I’m useless, what can I say?

Well, the solicits from Marvel came out and I’m looking what’s coming in for August and generally mourning the loss of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane. The covers for Annihilation: Conquest are AWESOME (man, I do not know what this Wraith guy is selling, but I am buying it in bulk!) and Marko Djurdjevic has a some new shots (and possibly a relative working for the company) but then… there’s Heroes for Hire #13.

Just to make sure there’s no problems like last time, I’m not going to post a picture, just an informative opinion from Elin Winkler, EIC of Radio Comix.

It’s a lot easier to scream and rail and rampage at storytelling and continuity and basic fundamentals rather that art. Art is subjective; just because balloon breasts are kind of silly to me, it doesn’t mean that people don’t have a right to view them or purchase products based on cup size. Just because I’m uncomfortable with furry porn doesn’t doesn’t allow me to declare that it’s an affront to anyone but me, really.

But somethings are universal: False Advertising is a crime. The newsarama poster who called Joe Quesada on the discrepancy in book ratings might have been ahead of his time as Heroes for Hire is a T+ book. T+, meaning at Marvel.com, 9+ years old Appropriate for most readers, parents are advised they may want to read before or with younger children.

Yeah, try wrapping your brain around that one.

Let’s face it: the covers are there to judge the book. That’s why people get duped by rockin’ pinups of their favorite characters on the front when the damned guy doesn’t even appear inside the book. That cover is implying things about the interiors that are simply not going to happen. It’s implying an entirely different rating level than it has. Parents don’t even have to ‘read before or with’ their kids to know that this is entirely inappropriate.

There is no way that art should have been approved for that book.

EDIT:  Lea Hernandez takes matters into her own hands and provides something closer to what might be a better T+ cover.   Bless you, Ms. Hernandez.

Once again, Jeff Parker continues to write the comics I want to read.

This most recent issue of Marvel Adventures: Avengers have a healthy and hale Dr. Vernon Van Dyne explaining his daughter’s rise to superhero-dom  to Storm.  Storm assumes that she put on the costume to avenger her mother’s death as well… that’s kind of the way comics go in general right?

No.  Vernon tells Storm that her mother’s fine, playing tennis right now even.  Janet just wanted to do good.

And you know?  That’s good enough for me.

Alright, it’s late and I’ve hemmed and hawed over even saying anything, because sometimes, it’s just better to agree to disagree, but after reading a bunch of different articles and commentaries, I think I need some help.  I come to you, dear reader with a question:

Why does this not upset me?  Why do I even think it’s kind of cute?  Am I supporting the wrong image of women in comics?  I mean, look at her!  She’s overly sexualized, doing Spider-Man’s laundry, barefoot to boot… it’s like it’s screaming at me to be outraged.

I just can’t do it, though.  All the tools are there, but none of the vigor.  I know this opinion is wrong because this particular maquette has become the subject of quite some anger on these here tubes.   Don’t get me wrong: I hate Star Sapphire’s new look as much as anyone and think the Wedding of T’Challa and Ororo did nothing but stick Storm in as sidekick in the Black Panther book.  I like to think I have a firm grasp of what is and isn’t right when it comes to depictions of women in comics.

But look at that pic!  It’s… cute.  Cheeky.  Even a little sly.  Like an old pin-up Petty girl from the 50′s-60′s, which Adam Hughes is so good at capturing.  There’s no overt nudity, MJ looks well fed and healthy, and her expression looks a little smarter than the guys who’ll be drooling over the shot.  I have more of a problem with Paris Hilton rubbing herself against a car in an ugly bathing suit while eating a hamburger than I do this picture.

Don’t get me wrong and please, oh comic-fen, don’t be angry with me.  I’m honestly asking for help here; tell me what is so offensive here and I will read every single word.  All I ask in return is that you listen to what I say in return.  I want to be convinced and I want to join the cause, my rhythm’s just all out of whack.

For the past two weeks, Joe Quesada has been trying to answer a particular reader question and … well, bless his heart, he’s failing every time. Now, as a conscientious retail monkey, I humbly admit that, well, I’m a little more in the trenches than the ol’ EIC. I have parents coming in and wringing their hands in worry about what kind of pictures and words their children are reading (or not reading as the case may be). At Metro, we bag for content and have clear labels on the books that have graphic violence or sexual content. So when the subject of what’s appropriate for the viewing public comes up, I try to have an answer.

Last week, Joe Q got asked this question:

Q: Jimski 04-27-2007 12:09 PM

I have a question that has driven me bug-nutty for a year now. Whenever a question is asked about the possibility of Wolverine or Spider-Man appearing in a MAX book, the answer is always the same: the “name” characters are “like crack for kids” and we don’t want to put them in a story that would be inappropriate or damaging to young minds. If Jessica Jones wants to meet Spidey, Alias has to become The Pulse.

What, then, is the deal with Marvel Zombies – page after page of “name” heroes’ animated corpses with flesh rotting off of their exposed bones, tearing into people with their teeth? Did I really see a statue of Spider-Zombie holding the body of his wife with a huge gash in her neck?? I’m a grown man, and that’s profoundly disturbing. What’s the official explanation for this apparent contradiction?

Okay, let’s look at the question honestly for a moment: what Jimski is saying is that Marvel has a double standard for using its characters in ‘mature’ situations. That in order to get a Spider-Man appearance in a MAX book, the book in question has to be taken down from a mature audiences level to at least a T+ rating I’m assuming. It’s why the Punisher has two titles right now, one for Garth Ennis-ness and one for more ‘mainstream’ audiences.

Taken at face value, this isn’t anything new. Movies are rated as R on almost a purely commercial basis as there is little to no promotion or advertizing for NC-17 rated films. If Marvel wants to use Spider-Man as a marketing juggernaut that he is, he’s got to be strictly for “All Ages” as much as an R rated film. Sadly, there’s no real ‘standard’ for rating films and with no Comic Code Authority (as outdated as it was), comics are given the task of rating themselves. Let’s take a look at how they tell us they’re doing this:

:

Now, the flip side of this and the second part of Jimski’s question is how Marvel can have this standard and yet print a book with all their selling point characer logos as detailed rotting corpses that are slaughtering innocents and eating human flesh. Spider-Man won’t swear or be seen next to someone who swears, but having him holding the dead body of his wife that he’s eaten part of is okay. Well, that’s also very true of the movie industry and popular culture as a whole. The difference between a R rating and an NC-17 rating and the people who make that decision was the subject of an entire movie, This Film is Not Yet Rated; the film talked a little about how there frankly is no real standard as to how movies are rated and that a lot of it is conjecture based on more variables that what’s actually shown on the screen.

With all of this in mind all of the very violent and gory Marvel Zombies books are a rated ‘PARENTAL ADVISORY’, about an ‘R’ rating. In comparison, the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead (a movie that scared the crap out of me) was rated R for ‘pervasive strong horror violence and gore, language and sexuality’. These two seem to even out.

Is it fair? No. Is it the way things are? Pretty much, until someone takes a stand and makes a decent rating system or enough letters come in that Marvel is forced to take action on consumer’s wants and whims. While the sight of an undead half eaten bride is pretty freaky, it can still fall under ‘cartoon violence’ as it is a stylized drawing and not an actual person. And while Peter Parker is perfectly within his rights to cuss from time to time, he still has to be accessible to all audiences, even the linguistically uptight ones. It’s not ‘for the children’, it’s for the cash.

Now, Joe Quesada cannot possibly say everything I just said, even if I’m Righty McRighterson here and not just a highly opinionated fan. There’s just something about coming out and admitting you’re in it for the money. But there’s that and then there’s not even trying. Joe Quesada’s first attempt at the question was this:

JQ: Jimski, in my world, there’s a big difference between a monster movie and a movie in which characters get to say #@$% and $#!@ and we get to see lots naughty, naked bits and stuff.

Same thing in a comic book.

Okay, now I’ll give the guy a break considering that week’s Joe Fridays started with him overworked and running low. But come on. That isn’t even an answer! That’s just a very general comparison. Some monster movies have partial nudity and swearing and are still <a href=”http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120877/” target=”_blank”>rated R</a> (sorry, first example that came to mind; think of your own here!). Apparently, things are just that simple in Joe Quesada’s world.

This last Joe Friday, someone stepped up again, hoping for a more detailed answer:

Q: KingMattress 05-07-2007 01:47 AM

Joe, I’m confused by something. Last week, a reader asked about why big name heroes like Spidey can’t appear in MAX books, but Marvel Zombies, with all its carnage, is fine. Your response was fair, in that a monster movie is different than one with curses and “naughty bits.” But isn’t an R-Rated movie an R-Rated movie, no matter the content? Do you feel that violence in comics isn’t as big of an issue as sex and language? I know comics have always incorporated violence to some degree, but far different than a hero eating a civilian’s head.

Along those lines, how is Marvel Zombies not MAX to begin with?

Again, clearly stated, passive in it’s accusation and very reasonable. Why isn’t Marvel Zombies a MAX title?

The short answer is because is Spidey’s going to be in this book, it better be on the newsstands. Also, this is still in the realm of cartoon violence and that the Parental Advisory ranks the book within R rating guidelines, and MAX titles have two extra points (swearing and nudity) to knock them into the MAX category.

Let’s see what a more rested and clear headed Joe Quesada has to say:

JQ: Okay, one more time, with extra clarification.

KingMattress , first let me say that here in America, violence is much more acceptable than sexual issues. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but that is the world we live in whereas in places like Europe, the exact opposite is true.

Now let’s look at modern comics and content, if we can. When we look at our old Marvels from the 60s, the content may seem sweet and wholesome and in some cases quaint to us today, but in its time it was considered very edgy and perhaps even a bit much for little kids. That really hasn’t changed much forty-plus years later, but lets be honest – what was considered edgy forty years ago certainly isn’t what edgy is today.

Where there has been a diametrically important shift is that today parents are much more involved in what their kids are reading and watching and doing. I never had to wear a bicycle helmet and there weren’t little plastic covers on electrical sockets in my house when I was growing up. It was Darwinism pure and simple. Shift today’s parental attitudes and concerns to the 60s and a lot fewer kids would have been reading Marvel Comics because they were just way too edgy. That’s why we have a Marvel Adventures line, because we don’t want to fool ourselves into thinking that our books are suitable for 8 year-olds. Sure, some sophisticated 8 years-olds will dig them, but the Adventures line is created as much for the parents as it is for the kids.

So, if we begin from that point of view, there’s already a certain degree of gore and bloodshed in our regular Universe, much more than there was forty years ago and with respect to that, Marvel Zombies isn’t all that much different than our regular books.

Also, Marvel Zombies was rated Parental Advisory, Age 15 and up. This is the highest rating we give our books before heading into MAX world. It’s the same rating given to intense books like Moon Knight and Wolverine.

So, keeping all of that in mind, to me, it’s not a MAX title.

Did he even read the question? Or did he cut to the last sentence? The difference between Europe’s and America’s cultural differences has NOTHING TO DO WITH ANSWERING THE QUESTION. How things were in the ’60s shows how moral values change with the passing of each generation, but unless he’s willing to say that in another generation or two, there might be something worse in the MAX books and the Pulse will be considered tame, it doesn’t have much bearing on why brain eating is all audiences and standing next to a person who says ‘shit’ is not. The Marvel Adventures line? Great idea! NOT AT ALL INVOLVED IN THIS QUESTION.

It’s rather swell of Mr. Quesada to answer reader questions, but maybe they need to limit the questions or try an FAQ or just… get the man a calming cup of tea before hand. Because I’m not sure if this is working for public relations.

I have now seen Spider-Man 3.

Without spoilers, I can tell you that I cannot think of a single serious thing wrong with the movie.  Not even a third of the way through, the little kid next to me turns to his friend and stage whispers, “This is the best Spider-Man movie ever!”  Mind you, I remembered this moment of childlike warmth because I felt like a cad exclaiming, “OH SHIT!” next to him at a crucial point of action, but the heart is still there.  Was it the finest Spider-Man movie?  Hard to say, since it’s been awhile since I’ve seen the last two, but I can acurately say that it is my favorite Spider-Man movie right now.

WARNING:  Spoilers Commence!  Go to Free Comic Book Day, pick up your books, go see the movie and come back.  You have been warned.

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