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Short and Sassy – Reviews for 01/24

I wonder:  why don't we get the DC previews anymore?  And will this paltry list matter when I go to work tomorrow and find the last issue of Annihilation in the next set of Marvel Previews?  Can I just jump ahead a week?

Oh, also coming out today is Civil War: the Return with your favorite or just mine, the Sentry bringing back the one man who could stop him if he ever really truely lost it this time, he means it.  It seem like a dumb idea that is again the Sentry's fault, but it's also being written by Paul Jenkins... who wrote  the now infamous Civil War: Frontline.  Man, hard to call this one.

These books, a lot easier.

Avengers Next #5

First off, let me congratulate "Mercenary Molly" and her Editor's Note within this issue letting me know that some events relate to Last Planet Standing, the last big event in the M2 universe.  She's a brave and, apparently, mercenary soul.  Anyhow, the book winds up with no particular shockers, no tricks or switch ups as Loki's daughter looks to turn Earth into the New Asgard and her personal playground.  The Avengers do what needs to be done and fight the villain, screwing courage to the sticking point and coming out a little battered, a little bruised, but on the winning end.  Sure, looks like there still may be some squabbling amongst the members and they took on some questionable folk but, as America Dream says, they are all Avengers.  And that's what it's all about.

Doctor Strange: the Oath #4

After trying to take on an undefeatable monster, Doctor Strange watches as Wong and Night Nurse try and step into help, but wind up getting tangled up within the monster's grasp in the process.  Doc Strange pinches at the bridge of his nose and utters the utterly quotable phrase, "This is why I didn't join the Avengers."  Oh, irony.  He does defeat the monster of course, resorting to pistol violence he finds distasteful and everyone gets to see our opposing side.  Note I didn't say villain, as the guy actually presents a decent argument at the end of his monologing origin story ('Hey, Doc, you know your origin?  I was like three steps behind you!').  If the magic elixir that this little mini revolves around can really cure all illnesses, what kind of world would we live in if no one ever got sick?  It's an interesting moral complexity I'm sure will be answered in the next and sadly final issue where we'll also learn if Wong just really died or not.  Man, I wish this was an ongoing.

Heroes for Hire #6

Two stories in here:  on one side, we have a Jewish enforcer by the name of 'The Shadows' going to Heroes for Hire to look into a situation for him that he can't have his hands on.  Turns out this all leads to a possible trap/ unfortunate coincidence wherein Man-Ape, the Grim Reaper and some chick named 'Saboteur' who apparently are resorting to old school villainy by trying to threaten New York with a bomb.  Now, this would be a great storyline if Civil War wasn't going on and SHIELD in the way, but there's still another issue to find out how all this is going to resolve.  Now, the other plot is the Humbug going to help a little boy rescue his 'pet robot' from the Head Hunters.  And no, it's not the kid from Sentinel.  But he's grumpy and the kid's precocious, so I expect next issue their little subplot will be heartwarming to some extent.

Silent War #1

Some time between the end of Son of M and Civil War #4 comes Silent War, meaning that the events of this miniseries really won't have any big effect outside itself, as such events would have to be mentioned or mirrored in the books that are set after this mini is over.  Ah, well.  Gorgon and some of the kids from the Inhumans mini go and make a big huge statement at the raging metaphor that is a performance of the Tempest at some fancy theater.  Everything is going 'according to plan' (because letting Gorgon talk is a good idea) when the kid with plant powers pops people's heads off on live TV.  People are understandably upset.  The Fantastic Four show up and just make sure to kick ass before taking any real names.  They have a fight, the FF win and Gorgon and Co. are taken prisoner and a very evil scientist subjects Gorgon to the Terrigen Mists they stole as an experiment/torture device.  This leads to a very big and scary last page of a tricked out Gorgon-Beast.  Meanwhile back at Attilan, Black Bolt is wishy washy about what to do about all this and the Council is just as forced into taking a non-position.  Something else may be at work causing all this uncertainty, but while that's getting sorted out, the Statement Squad are going to be in for a world of hurt.  On a personal note, anything done with the Inhumans that does not jibe with Jenkins and Lee's phenomenal miniseries isn't going to fly right with me and considering this is the same guy who wrote X-Men: Colossus - Bloodlines and District X, my expectations are somewhere around my shoes.  Civil War is enough political problem for the Marvel Universe right now; it brings in Atlantis and Latveria and Wakanda as potential threats to the central plot.  Adding in the Inhumans seems kind of vestigial.

Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #14

Six more glorious issues left!  Here, we are given one of the best examples of how high school games of telephone really work.  It's not just a few panels of people relaying information, it's a really cool way to look at the characters through their point of view on what exactly is the 'big secret' Peter Parker has.  Well, it looks like Gwen Stacy's got the news of Peter Parker's big secret before Mary Jane, who winds up crying in the locker room because he chance with Peter is nil.  Liz is pissed because her friend is hurt and winds up telling Harry about her ire and bemoaning the whole situation to Flash, both of whom let on to Peter that they are in the 'know'.  Flash gives Peter the ol' 'wink-wink' while Harry just seems a little worried about his ex.  Peter thinks Gwen's dropped the whole ball when she lets on that she might have told MJ she knew something desperately secret about him.  And the circle is complete.

Wolverine #50

Welcome the second coming of stories you already know.  Wolverine vs. Sabretooth, Logan confused about his past, the infamous Silver Fox story, it all comes back again like well worn friends.  Suffice it to say, Loeb does nothing exciting or thrilling about his first issue on this #50 milestone (well, #50 for this run of numbering).  First off, Wolverine has a confusing dream about were-people where a black wolf fights a sabertoothed furry person and even Logan has no idea what it means.  Though apparently, this metaphor is important and he's even given the horrendously violent reoccurring dream pet names.  He has this dream on the way to the X-Mansion, where to be perfectly honest, he really doesn't belong anymore.  He's a solo guy now an it just looks weird for him to be walking on by, like a high school kid visiting their old elementary school.  He shoves a claw through the lock and finds Rogue, who wonders why he didn't just knock.  Logan then finds Sabretooth and they get down to business.  Fighting ensues, with Victor Creed taunting Logan about how he remembers everything else about his life now except for the one crucial thing that this storyline revolves around.  Quick aside: how does Sabretooth know that Wolverine has his memories?  Was there a memo?  Did the X-Men tell him?  Anyhow, Logan recounts the Silver Fox story ( the short story being that Logan and Silver Fox were in true love when Sabretooth came in and murdered her.  Turns out that this whole scenario was an induced memory from Weapon X and Silver Fox was an agent for them.  Oh, Sabretooth killed her for reals this time and Logan was still rather weepy over the whole affair).  "Quod sum eris", Sabretooth tells Wolverine amidst kicking and punching, "I am what you will be".  Which actually is a great sentiment I could wax poetic on for quite some time, but it's set aside for the time being so that Logan can once again pop his claws through Sabretooth's head in a fade-to-black panel cliffhanger.  After this is a strange story about Wolverine's first appearance in Incredible Hulk #181.  Ed McGuinness  draws a big beefy fight while we get commentary about how ridiculous it all is by Logan's inner dialogue.  Then comes the strange part: the Hulk grabs Wolverine and we get a two-page splash of the Ultimate Hulk/Wolverine fight.  You know, the rather infamous shot of him being ripped in half?  Yeah, redrawn by Ed McGuinness and stuck into the story.  Fantastic picture?  Hells yes!  Bad timing? Oh yeah.  Because people are going to see that then come to the store and ask me about it.  And I'm going to have to tell them the sad sad story of how late the book that had that picture first is.  Ah well.  Wolverine seems to wake up after that shot and shrugs, blaming Canada and walks off into the snow.  A great start for a celebrated author on a mega-hit character?  Not really.  But thankfully, Jeph Loeb is still cool (even after Onslaught Reborn) and there's more issues to come.

X-Factor #15

Thanks for making me highly uncomfortable while reading my favorite book, Mr. David.  I just think my quota on the Merry Marvel Masochist Society is tapped out.  You see, Jamie Madrox decides to go collect his Agent of SHIELD dupe and winds up getting kidnapped by Hydra.  Everything was going fine until they hooked him up to the brainwashing treatment that has felled both Guido and Northstar.  Joy of joys, this puts Jamie in a precarious position in his head with his parents beating him to death and calling him a failure.  This leads to him beating himself up, spreading the mind control ju-ju thin enough for him to break free but not enough for the 'mind control' to be tossed off entirely.  Brainwashing: slowly replacing clones as plot device that need to be put to bed for a very long time.  Meanwhile, Siryn and M go to France and get caught up in an anti-mutant demonstration there.  Causing a disturbance as only two hot headed characters can, they do the right thing of turning themselves into the authorities and going along peaceably.  While waiting in jail and with the proper authorities knowing that M is the daughter of Ambassador and Wealthy Man Cartier St. Croix, they find out that their intervention and good behavior has done nothing positive and for this, M kills a man while waiting in her jail cell.  I miss Rictor and the great direction the last issue had.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.