snap judgments

So I didn’t get a chance to go through the Preview Books thanks to shorter hours at work (oooh, the holidays hit hard, I tell ya), but I did read the New Avengers: Illuminati #1 (of 5). The co-writer Brian Reed fully admits that these are rushed through spot stories that really could be books in and of themselves and it shows. It’s a shame too because these are all highly important people with greater ideals who, sitting down to discuss these, could literally change the world. I mean, how do Namor and Black Bolt get along? What’s Reed Richards view on mutants? In fact, how do men of science like Iron Man and Mister Fantastic handle a man of pure magic like Doctor Strange? This could be a fascinating character study of major themes and paradigms that could help remind us of what’s being lost in setting from the fractioning done by Civil War.

Instead, I get the A-Team.

Silly me, thinking they were going to be a shadowy board of figures working behind the scenes. Right off, page three has them teleporting into a big ol’ Skrull ship and stating their demands to lay off Earth. When they don’t get a surrender, they blow shit up and ‘port away. Namor even wants a ‘Hoo-hah!’ after their action-adventure scene, something the others seem to deplore. And why would they? This isn’t a serious book. You don’t just jump over to the Skrull warship and demand they lay off then run away. These guys are smart, one of them a notable diplomat in the continual struggle between mutant-human relations, so when did ‘go in, make obviously unwelcome demands, then blow up the ship and then take off’ become a good idea? Couldn’t they think of something better? Something that would work?

In any case, they get caught and put through their own personal Bond trap (something that was hilarious and cute for the Marvel Adventures Avengers, let me tell you) which they escape from with guns a-blazing, sell a quick illusion of Galactus to get themselves clear and then realize that yeah, it was sort of a bad idea wasn’t it? “Well, at least they know it will be a good fight,” the ship acknowledges in a word bubble as they zoom off and the Skrull seem to have all they need for some dastardly plot.

It’s gutsy, it’s funny and it’s loud. It’s the A-Team and I really wonder if all the issues are going to be like this.

(and no, I have no idea how Black Bolt, Doctor Strange, Mister Fantastic, Iron Man, Namor or Charles Xavier pan out to actually being Hannibal, Faceman, “B.A.” Baracus or “Howling Mad” Murdock, especially since they are missing two….)

Uhm, wow. That book went quick. This is going to be a short one. The good news? Alex Maleev’s art does not disappoint. Everything looks sketchy and dreamy and gorgeous and is honestly the reason I paid my $3.22. Otherwise, the book is cotton candy: sweet and unsatisfying.

We start with Hawkeye waking up post-HoM outside the Avengers broken down mansion and setting up his infamous marker that we saw at the end of that series, with his costume and the arrow through the article about his death. Once that’s finished, he does the perfectly smart thing and goes to see Doctor Strange. Because if you’re really confused about your existence, hes the guy to see.

Spooky fingers are wiggled, the Eye of Aggamotto used and Clint is given a clean bill of resurrected health. Reasonably upset about Wanda killing him not once, but twice, he wants to go find her and shake her until answers come out. Doctor Strange advises against it, since really, what kind of answers is he expecting? It’s just only going to get worse and it’s not like anyone is going to take responsibility for a rather good idea rushed through the issues. After all, who would want to hear Wanda’s side of things, isn’t she just crazy?!

I digress.

Despite being Sorcerer Supreme, Doctor Strange says he can’t find Wanda and doesn’t seem at all keen on going to investigate a woman who single handedly warped the reality he’s sort of in charge of by being Sorcerer Supreme, so Clint goes on a quest. First to Genosha, which we never see and then to Wundagore Mountain where he rescues a woman from having her purse snatched. As someone else helps the mystery woman to her feet, she rises to reveal herself as- A GHOST RIDER AD! I mean, Wanda! Clint swoons.

Waking up, he’s been carried to Wanda’s humble apartment where she warns him against waking up her Aunt Agatha in the next room. Going through a series of head-holding and seductive poses, we find out that she’s made a new life out of thin air for herself and appears to have no memory of the whole debacle she caused. Lucky her. Clint, upset by the lack of closure and the fact that Disassembled and House of M still are pinned on just some chick going cuckoo (women! I tells ya…), makes everything better by having sex with an obviously lost and very hot Wanda. Waking up, he decides to give her a mysterious exit when he notes the door that holds dear ol’ Aunt Agatha who isn’t supposed to be bothered; of course, wants to take a peek. His hand on the knob, Clint remembers Strange warning him that he might not really want to know ‘the Truth’ by this point, I mean, really and so we’re left with him heading out into the street.

Well, the book is gorgeous, but nothing is answered and nothing is gained. Wanda is still some dizzy dame and Hawkeye is left to just bum around the MU with no one knowing if he’s alive or dead. Thanks, Bendis.

Next issue: Revolution!