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Civil War #4 Kicks Me in the Metaphorical Nads, Film at 11

Until today, I hadn't really read Civil War #4.

Oh, I'd flipped through it on Friday, but I hadn't had the guts to sit down and really get into the thing.  I went the spoiler route and what I heard online was that this issue wasn't going to be pretty, so I'll admit to a little fear on my part.  But when the guys over at Blog@Newsarama asked for volunteers to write on it to boost some hits, I raised my hand.  After all, I had to have something to say on it, right?

Oh dear lord.

I've read it four times in the past 8 hours and each time is just as depressing as the last.  Man, I officially have NO IDEA where they are going with this.  None.  This could all be Skrulls or robots or a dream or another reality or all of the above and it could be true because I still have the same questions I had from issue #1 through #3.  Nothing is being answered, nothing is being gained, only more questions and more tragedy.  In fact, how in the heck are they going to get 'winners' out of this?  How is anything ever going to go back to normal again?

Between this and Astonishing X-Men, I feel wholely unqualified to review either.  I just have to put my hands up in the air and wit until the story finishes to understand anything.  Marvel's 'Wait and See' policy has finally done me in.  Each issue gives you only a random part of a puzzle that I can only guess will turn out to be a picture in the end.

I need to go read Nextwave.
But I have an article to write first.

It Almost Makes Sense… Almost

So, I hear in Civil War #4, Hank Pym cops to making a Thor-Clone for his buddy, Tony Stark so they can win the Civil War.

I'm not all that surprised.

Hank Pym is a self-styled king of bonehead moves, starting with this first appearance in Tales to Astonish when he shrunk himself down to the size of an ant, freaked out, then locked away his Pym Particles, swearing to never use them again only to become a costumed hero with an encylopedia of problems.

And that's why I like him so much.  It's sounds horrible, but Hank Pym is the kind of hero not many aspire to be, but would turn out that way.  Someone brilliant, someone who really wants to belong but just doesn't have that 'IT' that makes a superhero.  Ego and self-doubt and a lack of self-esteem always get in the way and make him either a wife beating villain or a people pleasing clone artist.

This is the guy who, after being accused of acting rashly, built a robot that only he could defeat to terrorise his teammates so he could get his cred back.  A man who's 'airhead heiress' wife totally upstaged him in the career that he started.  A man who got the brush off by Tigra in the West Coast Avengers and tried to kill himself.  That was the first issue I ever saw him in, by the way, and the poor guy in the red jumper contimplating taking his own life was something unheard of in comics to lil' teen me.

Like most scientists, he's got that God Complex and while Reed Richards hides his in stoicism, Tony Stark wrapped his up in Iron (though boy has there been a leak these days) and Bruce Banner shoves his into a big green monster, Hank Pym was the only guy to name his invention after himself.  It's not Stark Armor, it's not the Richards Zone, it's Pym Particles.  He doesn't have a corporation, he's probably under a private contract to build whatever he wants and that... hasn't been in some time.  There really hasn't been any new inventions from Dr. Pym outside of self-aware maniacal robots.  I didn't have a reference for it until recently, but it's kind of like Dr. Venture from the Venture Bros., living off what his father built and taking on government contracts to pay the bills.

As a side note, I think Pym's cash comes from the superhero community itself as they seem to be the ones using Pym Particles the most.  Huh.

So yeah, I could see him agreeing to Tony Stark's side of things in order to keep people happy with him.  It'd be harder to go it on your own with Captain America, so why not stick with the plan that lets you stay in your own home and might possibly get you a good contract with SHIELD?  Clone a god because this could get you back in the game scientifically and come on, aren't you kind of curious?  Take the easy route. Pym.  Make your mistakes because, at heart, at least I know you really do mean well.

Kiss and Make Up, Guys

From the December Marvel Solicits:

IRON MAN/CAPTAIN AMERICA: CASUALTIES OF WAR ONE SHOT

In the midst of Civil War, Captain America and Iron Man meet secretly, one last time, to see if there’s any hope of working things out before further tragedy occurs. Don’t miss this oversized special that reveals how these two men, once the closest of friends and staunchest of allies, could end up leading opposing armies in the conflict tearing apart the Marvel Universe!

MOON KNIGHT #8

...And certainly not the fugitive Captain America, who shows up at your doorstep, wanting a word. Maybe he thinks he can harness all your excess energy into something useful...something that can aid him in his grudge match with Tony Stark in the CIVIL WAR tearing through the Marvel U?

I know Civil War is personal and all but... is it me or does it sound personal personal? Why is it so much Iron Man v. Captain America instead of the original concept, which was safety v. freedom? Words like 'grudge match' and 'hope of working things out' sounds more like they need a visit from Dr. Phil than any actual political stance or human right issue.

In Defense Of… the Sentry

I like the Sentry.

WAIT WAIT- give me a moment here. I don't like the New Avengers Sentry. I don't like the fact he's on a team and poorly thoughtout and kind of ignored despite having this big goddamned thing on to over Stark's tower.

I liked the original miniseries a lot. I like the lie behind it. And I think the Sentry, at heart, encapsulates everything I love about Marvel and their style.

I'm gonna get it, aren't I?

Let me explain: Robert 'Bob' Reynolds is a loser. Let's face it, he's no square-jawed, barrel-chested man of action. He's an agoraphobe if I remember right, a suspected alcoholic that thinks he gets superpowers when he drinks. It just so happened he was right, thanks to a special serum. He was a middle aged man going to some of the world's greatest heroes and saying 'Hey, I know you and we're really cool friends.'

He should be laughed out of the room. But it's all true, he is a great hero, his dreams are reality. I know people who still live in their high school years and think back to when they were the Big Man on Campus who let themselves go as years went by, only thinking about the Good Ol' Days.

Not only could he be completely delusional or the greatest hero ever known, but he's also his own worse enemy. I hate overpowered characters with no serious drawbacks and this is probably the most poetic and probable drawback yet. You wanna be Superman? You want to be the greatest force for Good? Well, there's an equal and oposite reaction to everything and the Sentry creates just as much Evil in the world as he does good just by being there. He's his own worst enemy and, in a way, aren't we all?

The end of his first miniseries had him realize all this, the fact that he might be insane, the fact he could never get a chance to be that hero he used to be without bringing about just as much destruction. The greatest power and the greatest amount of responcibility, Robert Reynolds has to forsake his heroic rights and be that middle aged loser in order to save the world. In a day and age where Peter Parker loses his sense of responciblity to his family and toes Tony's party line for a better suit and a nice place to live, the idea that a man who has no life and no future could turn his back on glory and fame and purpose even to ensure he does the Right Thing(tm) and keep the Void from this world is just awesome in story and scope.

I like the Sentry. I like the ordinary man given extrodinary powers and abilities who has to struggle with being human first, and a hero second. I like seeing how the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. I would have loved to see Bob show up in books as this lonely man looking up to the sky, watching the heroes overhead and knowing that could have been him again. I like my character's flaws to be central to their everyday life. Why we don't see more of the Sentry's wife having to cope with her broken husband, I don't know. Why he has to be this throwaway idea in the New Avengers that can be simply defeated by logic loops, I don't know that either.

Paul Jenkins came back to sort of explain the Sentry in a second mini, and for the most part, I loved it. It was more of a character study than the first and, in his gut-wrenching origin, it was all hammered home when the Void tells him flat out 'You could have been anyone'. Peter Parker, all Spider Totem BS aside, could have been anyone. Anyone can be a mutant. Any soldier could have been super, he just had to be at the test at the right time and really want it. There is nothing particularly special about a Marvel character for the most part, they are written with everyone in mind. And that's why I will always be a Marvel fan. While I will never be a girl made of clay, or a billionare playboy or a lost alien, I could be a kid on a field trip.

I could go on and on about the mini, how John Romita Jr. came a long way to show us how off his rocker the Sentry was in simple facial tiks and stances, how the Sentry threw a part of himself into the sun to escape Bob's inadequacies, how the Void's last words were that he loved him and how much just a tiny well placed word bubble can speak volumes, but... I'm a sucker for Jenkins so much it would just come off as fangirling.

The next New Avengers has him in it, but not really. The Sentry, my The Sentry, forfitted his position to keep me safe and went back to being just a guy and that's where I will keep him.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Smarter people have written better about Black Panther #19 and for that, I thank them. I read New Avengers every month, I really don't think I could take another mercy title.

But I read it anyway and never said my piece on the subject. Sure, having Storm back down and having Doom pretty much come up with the worst invitation possible and having Black Panther being all short-sighted and heavy handed made for a sad issue, but...

Did anyone else notice the two moments of 'HAHAHAHA!'? I wish I had a scan on me but there are two moments of dangerous quippage and then a pan bck to have them in sihouette with a large laugh sfx above them. The first one is about them taking over the world, then laughing heartily at the idea, then I think the second one is them making up.

It was so sitcom-y and weird it just made me wonder if the two got hit on the head too hard sometime after the wedding...

To the Management

Thank you for getting Axel Alonso on the X-Titles.

Thank you for paring them down, somewhat, and getting that miniseries binge out of your system.
Thank you for getting the main titles the hell out of dodge for the most part from the Civil War books.

I am happy to hear that Alonso will be assisted by what looks to be FIVE GUYS instead of the small army previously listed here.

NRAMA: Speaking of talking, who'll be helping you on the titles?

AA: Editors Nick Lowe and Andy Schmidt, and Assistant Editors Sean Ryan and Daniel Ketchum. Michael O’Connor will continue to assist me on the Wolverine titles. They’re all aces. Except Nick, who's a Queen or a Jack, I forget.

It seems as if someone finally took a look at the shelves and decided some cleaning should be done.  And I like Alex Alonso, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders and just so long as he really means it when he says he's leaving things be for about 8-12 months, I think we might be able to start reading the X-Men again.  Things are going well so far for the books, no matter how much I can't bring myself to like Vulcan and how much we really didn't need re-brainwashed Northstar despite a reunion with his sister.  I'm able to take deep breaths and keep looking forward to the future.

You know, the one I'm fighting for and all.

Writing Cliches

I wasn't going to post this without talking to more knowledgeable people on the subject when I realized that this site isn't called 'Well Thought Out Judgments' and have all the free reign I want to say stupid things as opinions.
LET US BEGIN!

So, ever read a particular author and totally lose the story he or she is trying to tell due to their pet writing style or quirks? When it becomes less a Spider-Man story and more of a 'JMS Story'? When you pick up a Judd Winick title and wonder who's gay and/or has AIDS? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's getting the word out but at the same time, it's turning into a drinking game.

I have never liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have never liked Angel. Joss Whedon and I can pretty much only agree on Firefly and after the movie, I'm pretty sure that's the end of that. I have forsaken my ovarian right to adore everything he does (OMGSQUEE!) and get a good story out of his stuff from time to time. Now that he's on the X-Men flagship 'Astonishing X-Men' (because having Uncanny, the first X-Men title be the flagship would be silly), I'm reading along with him the lively tales of his stereotypical character archetypes and it's gotten to the point where I don't even feel like I'm reading an X-Men book, just an episode of Buffy in costumes.

Yeah, I know, Buffy was inspired by Kitty Pryde, but why is Colossus so quiet? Why is Kitty leading the team more than Cyclops? And why in God's good name did Wolverine have to fall to comedic wuss? While it's funny for him to jump about in fear talking about 'a blue moose' (while moose is a very funny word, there is no way Beast could be mistaken for one.), it's also annoying and trite. And he does this all the time, the macho males are always taken down to the level of fools and the smallest girl is always the most deadly. It's turning a cliché, but there are only so many times before you start to scream 'YES! WE GOT THE POINT NOW THANK YOU!'.

From my limited 'snappy' knowledge base, Kitty has become every token young girl who 'kicks butt' he's nearly ever written, Colossus is now the 'angsting quiet boyfriend who may or may not lead to some sort of destruction', Beast is the 'means to ends' for information, Cyclops is horribly broken down for a guy used to telepaths, Emma is a bitch (despite it having been years since she's been on the side of evil, why is this all coming up now?) and Jerry Mathers is the Beaver. If this is the flagship, there should be characters in here that have been solidly confirmed for many many issues, and while the changes to motivation and characterization would be fine if there was a little more reasoning behind it, I just can't shake the name of the author.

Now that Whedon's going to Runaways after Vaughan, how long do you think it will take before Molly Hayes becomes some sort of super soldier fighting bad ass?