snap judgments

Sonic the Hedgehog. HUGE with kids. We barely get any for the store but there’s a steady stream of parents coming in and asking for that book by name with that deer-in-the-headlights look. In fact, that’s normally all they know. The parents that just say in a trembling voice, “…. Sonic? Sonic the Hedgehog?” and that’s as far as they can articulate and that’s all they know due to some sort of fear or hesitance because they’re trying to remember what their child said or wants because they have no clue otherwise.

And that’s just sad. Not to go off on a rant here, but you have no idea how many parents come in like that. Shopping for a Christmas or birthday present seems so easy until you actually step into the store and are struck by the fact we don’t just sell ‘Gift For Your Kid’ in a big blue box. That there isn’t just one thing they can get, but a variety of things that could be ‘lame’ or ‘cool’ to a whole spectrum of ages. That they should have been more involved in their kids’s lives and should know their interests or at least know enough to buy a present. That they have no place to start. It’s a shame based fear, the idea that they could take home something their kid doesn’t want, because that will prove that they have been lacking in the parenting department.

It’s not an issue of ‘Oh, he should be grateful he got something at all’ (which is true, in some respects); in fact, I would say it doesn’t even have to do with the kid at all, thus kind of prepetuating the problem. It’s the parent wanting to keep their self-image as a ’super cool bestest parent ever’ even when, well, they aren’t.

“Oh, I have NO IDEA about ANY of this,” I’ll hear, almost… proudly. “Do you know Billy? He’s in here all the time, what does he do?” Or, my favorite, “I have a little boy, he’s about 9, what do they like?” And all I can do is smile, understand that these are the parents going into nursing homes, and try and play Kreskin.

It sounds mean on paper, but when you have one of these nail biting moms or aunts or dads, I always just start asking them really easy questions, like ‘What’s his name?’, ‘What movies does he like?’, or even ‘What color does he like?’ A store with SO much as ours does can be pretty daunting, especially when you’re afraid of getting things ‘wrong’ (thus hurting their identities as a ‘good parent’), that you kind of have to corral them to a starting point. His name’s Toby? Great, tell me more. Oh, he likes Pirates of the Carribean? Great, here are some pirate things.

It’s a little like family councelling.