Ways not to seem cool in front of the comic store employee:
1) Wow, they make a ‘BLANK’ Comic/Card Game/Action figure?
- You may be impressed, but we took it out of the box, inventoried it, priced it and hung it on that shelf. We already know. And unless you’re going to add some sort of qualifiers or new info, that’s a statement that’s pretty much going to hang there. And I know you’re going to repeat this about most anything within your field of vision. If you really want to know about it, say something like ‘What’s ‘BLANK’ comic/card game/action figure about?’ That I can answer.
2) So, I do martial arts…
-Yeah. So does Batman. You ain’t him.
3) Oh, I’m just killing time…
-Thank you for admitting to wasting my time.
4) I saw the X-Men movie, I liked it. What do you think?
-You don’t want my opinion. Really, you just want me to agree with you. If I were to spit out my comic book vitrol at you if I disagreed, you’d get that blank look on your face. Best to just smile and nod.
5) Have you seen ‘BLANK’? I bought the DVD…
-Well… good to know. This is like ‘Oh, I own all these comics’, but worse because it’s not even a comic. Sometimes, we don’t even sell the DVD in the store that they’re talking about. It’s just said to impress the employees or prove he (or she) has ‘good taste’.
6) Have you seen ‘X Commerical’ when the guy goes ‘BLAH’ and then this happens?
-Oh, for the love of God and all that’s holy, do NOT reinact commercials. No matter how funny they are, they are still ads and you will never be as funny as what I see on TV unless you’re Neil Patrick Harris. And, I hate to let you down on this one, but you’re not Eddie Izzard either. So stop.
7) So, this a good place to pick up girls?
-…. This is why lazers don’t come out of my eyes.
So, I know ‘Industry Professional’…
-Is he here? Boy howdy, do I want to talk to him instead of you!
9) So, you work here a lot?/ You’re in here all the time!
-Should I be clutching my mace a little tighter when I walk home?
10) Not saying anything, just leaning in front of the register and ‘hanging out’.
-Dude. We got customers. MOVE OUT OF THEIR WAY! Hanging out at the comic shop is not cool. You’re not gaining ‘counter/pop culture’ points by standing here. There is no cred to get. Go home.
The reason I made this list is because there’s a guy in the store making it a personal mission to press every single button on this list. He wins. What he wins, I don’t know, but I’m sure he thinks he’s The Goddamned Winner.
EDIT: If you’re reading this, I’m also probably not talking about you. You’re a respectful sort right? You’re there to buy your books, engage in some light conversation and have a good time. I trust you.
It’s those OTHER people….
9 Comments
Yep, likewise I am sure it was those other comic store guys that couldn’t be bothered to check me out in a store the other day, their Civil War vs. Infinite Crisis conversation was too important to be interupted by a mere sale. I wasn’t as interested in their genius as they perhaps thought and left the comics and walked out. First time I have seen service that bad in a long time. I try not to be a jerk in their store, but somehow it isn’t enough to attract enough attention to let me check out and give them cash. Luckily there are plenty of other good stores in the area.
I have no idea where you are, but I wish I could send my bad comic store staff off to hang out with your bad customers and let us get on with life.
Well I hope you don’t mean me, although I do spend a lot of time in the store I buy from, just talking sports with the owner, or comics stuff with the other regulars.
You didn’t mention the ones who blatently hit on you because you are: a. A female and b. in a comic book store, so therefore you must be waiting for a smart, sensative comic geek to sweep you off your feet.
“Comb the sweet tarts out of your beard and you’re on!”
…or the ones who have a quote from “The Simpsons” for every occasion.
Brett: LAME! Dude, that sucks. No one should have a bad experience at a comic shop unless they themselves are the idiot. Again, I like my job and I hate to see it sullied.
And, you know… Metro Entertainment (in Santa Barbara, CA, by the by) does ship worldwide so you’re never without a good comic shop.
And yes, I get paid to say that.
CalvinPitt: You see, there’s chatting and there’s LOOKIT ME I’M COOL TOO GUYS! I’m sure you don’t regale the employees with your mad skillz or, even better, tell them if you’re GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER AFTER YOU’VE LEFT THE STORE.
A little above and beyond show talk and more assuming a level of familiarity that’s not fun.
John Constantine: Oh Jesus. There’s a reason I haven’t said anything on that. But how could I have missed the Constant Quoters? Simpsons have fallen off the radar for the more random and circumstantial Family Guy quotes.
Some days you just wonder why you crawled out of the long boxes.
*Reads carefully, following with her finger and mouthing the words* Uh-oh.. I’ve said every one on the list except #8.
Yes, even #7. But it was a joke.
“This is why lazers don’t come out of my eyes.”
See, I think if I had heat vision, it would be proof of God: giving me exactly what I want, the power to burn people with my stare; but then I wouldn’t be able to use it. Something so cool would prove there is a God, and then I would be afraid of commandments or wrath or whatever.
Silly, I know, but this is what stumbles through my head at work…
Bah! Where’s the challenge in quoting “The Family Guy”?
But speaking of things that have been cancelled and returned (justifiably or not)…are you going to use your Nextwave-gun for pushing “Manhunter” in the store too? ‘Cause that is one kickass book that really deserves its second chance.
I was scouring our graphic novels section during my break the other day for the one Green Lantern comic the computer says we have (because I think Ragnell and Kalinara are going to gang up on me if I don’t read one soon) and some random customer pulls Hush Vol. 1 off the shelf and tells me I should read it. He goes on about how great it is and adds that he thinks there are three of them (there’s only two volumes on the shelf).
I reply. “Yes, there is. I should know - I’ve had to shelve it often enough.”
I really don’t know why I haven’t been fired yet.
(yeah, ok, that was only sorta on topic….but it was funny, right?)
I stumbled on this site looking for other comic news and have to say your posts made me laugh. Our local comic shop/gaming store seems to be like every other one I have ever set foot in. It is filled with misfits, myself included, who really are ostracized from society by there inability to think and act mainstream. Some are due to a high intelligence that puts them in a different plane of reality but most are just weirdoes and/or socially misaligned individuals.
The fact that a comic store employee, which could be thought of as the head weirdo at most stores, is going to pass judgment on customers whose patronage actually support his/her store is a shame.
That weirdo you are poking fun at probably earns a considerable amount more than your job pays so maybe your judgments are made from your bitter feelings of how your life is going.
The fact that most comic store owners and employees look down at their customers is the reason so few are considered a friendly local store. Do I find the antics and conversations of comic shops boring and tiresome? Yes most of the time. My son and I normally make the purchases we want and hurry out. The one saving grace is the store manager who does know his customers are his livelihood and he takes the time to know a little about each no mater how he may really feel about them. He is the only reason I have not gone to on-line purchases. My eleven year old looks up to him because the owner treats my son as a person and knows his likes and dislikes. Maybe your customer is trying to have such a bond with you and giving you an insight, albeit a strange one, into his make up.
I certainly don’t know you or your store and I may be completely off base. Lord knows it wouldn’t be the first or last time. You may be a well adjusted young lady who is being harassed by a gentleman who is trying weak and unusual ways to garner your interest. You may be a well adjusted person who is trying to break into the comic business by keeping her thumb on the pulse of the industry. You may not have enough metal in your body to set off a metal detector at 100 paces.
I am not foolish enough to believe my post will change your view of the customer but maybe you may want to look at your career choice. If you cannot take weird antics and strange conversations I would tend to believe you’re in the wrong job.
I mean no disrespect in my comments on comic customers or store keepers. I myself admit that I am far from mainstream and I am sure others have considered me a geek or worse at times. I may be worse then most because I am not a sociable weirdo and tend to stay to myself and my family.