snap judgments no, really, there are some comics you really should read

Buying in – Reviews for 5/4

Second week we've gotten Image previews, second week I've missed getting to them.  Rats.  I'd probably feel worse if it was more than just three books.  Ah well, enjoy your big two previews at least.

X-Men: Apocalypse vs. Dracula #4

Surprisingly enough, I give more cred to Apocalypse from this book than all the other appearances he's got going on these days.  The fairly predictable ending to a very straightforward premise: Apocalypse versus Dracula.  Accept no substitutes.  There's some preliminary mook battles before the Big Guy and the Bat Guy throw down.  Despite the incredible bravado on both ends, the simple human element isn't forgotten and Van Helsing comes in at the nick of time.  Dracula defeated (oh, like he would win?), Apocalypse goes back to sleep thinking his 'Clan Acaba' is done.  Considering one of the supporting characters is named 'Starsmore' and the pink-haired, green-eyed kid has a woman whose last name is Ferguson led up to his room, we all know better and are shown a more sneaky side of Ozmandius to boot.  Hey, if you didn't get all the issues (shame on you, with all those lovely Jae Lee covers!), wait for the trade and take a flip through.  Sure, it's candy, but it's good candy.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #8

Okay.  I like Peter David, a lot in fact, but I think this book isn't doing it.  We are eight issues, four of which were part of The Other, one of which was practically a 'What If?', leaving two for stories in current continuity.  And, number eight starts us off in an alternate universe!  What's the deal?  Spectacular Spider-Man is for a rather outside little plot dealing with animal villains, Amazing Spider-Man is to push Civil War along... what's up with this title?  Is it for kids?  What are we doing here, folks?  Picture a world where Aunt May died instead of Uncle Ben.  Now picture Peter Parker as an insufferable jerk and imagine what that would do to Uncle Ben.  Now picture what that Uncle Ben would do if he walked into this dimension/universe/whathaveyou.  Now picture Hobgoblin 2211.  Yeah.  Is Civil War really that bad?

Marvel Team-Up #20

There is an awesome recap at the front of this book, plus an all ages rating, so feel free to make it a recommendation to the middle set.  Apparently, last month's 90's Redux was tied into a larger building plot and this time Captain America far too excited about slinging his shield at a MODOC squad to remember the RING OF ULTIMATE POWER he's got in his pocket.  He loses it in the fight and it turns up in the hands of Joe Everyman who, after a night of wild experimentation with his friend, learns how to use his power ring.  Meanwhile, something green regrows his/her/its brain.

Sentinel Squad O*N*E #5

Bug Sentinels look cool.  That's all I really have to say, but here's a recap, just in case anything in this book will come in handy later on.  Big Robots fight bug robots in South America to protect a little mutant hamlet in South America.  The government continues to be mean and nasty and at the end of the day, Lexington is the big hero.  Guys e haven't seen in the X-Men books leave the program for ethical beliefs (the alien-looking green guy stays behind to take care of the mutant hamlet, so... we'll never hear from him again...).  Then M-Day happens, Lexington gets to be in charge since he lost his powers and the current status quo gets set, leaving us with the feeling that... stuff happened.

Spider-Man Unlimited #15

Nice touch with the bios in the front, telling us a little about who got to be in the book.  For your $2.99 you get two stories, a pretty cheesy tale about a little kid whose a Spider-Man fan who stayed brave when his brother left him in the getaway car during a robbery and he makes a friend from the encounter, and a second which is absolute gold in my book.  We're taken through a bunch of memories from the perspective of the wife of Dr. Connors, whose single minded dedication to his work and the desire to hold his wife again turns their life upside-down.  It's a very human story, almost an allegory for a dysfunctional family and how they have to hold together despite it all.  Honestly, it's these kinds of stories that really mean Marvel to me.

Marvel Romance Redux: I Should Have Been a Blonde! #1

Patsy Walker!  Satan!  Peter David!  We're on a collision course to wackiness.  I will agree with Kevin (call I call him that?  Is it 'Mr. Beaucoup'?), the story did run long, but I'm so ticked by the romance of Hellcat and Hellstrom, I can almost overlook those obnoxious boxes commenting on everyone's clothing and hair.  We're those in the original?  Geez.  In the end, it's a laugh or to, much better than the last one and worth the $2.99 if you like Patsy Walker and her Son of Satan hubby or just a good hee hee.

The End: X-Men - Book Three: Men & X-Men #5

I was so ready to just plow my way through this book, pick up the salient points and move on but Claremont pulled a fast one on me and waxed philosophical for a bit on Charles Xavier.  Suckered in, I kept reading with interest when suddenly Marie D'Ancanto is helping Kate Pryde's mayoral campaign.  Didn't she die in that big Gambit debacle?  We learn to let go, and let Claremont, and move on.  We get more info on that campaign, which is a nice turn from the rather raucous events in space and just when I was getting comfy, back to the stars!  Fight fight fight fight, one thing after another goes down and just when I'm wondering when anyone is going to notice that the X-Men have perfect telepathic communication when fighting Cassandra Nova in Charles Xavier's body (they even made a point to mention how much psionic power that is in the front of the book!), the over-the-top villainess gets the power of the Phoenix.  My guess?  Next issue she gets the Power Cosmic.

Annihilation: Silver Surfer #2

Speaking of which... Do note this book's all ages rating, making me thrilled to be able to not only give a customer with the Silver Surfer in it, but I can give it to his kid too. Plus, the 'Previously...' recap page has a nifty day count, helpful for putting a multi-issue series in context with itself. This is a happy comic shop employee.  Now, I loved the first issue, and I am happy to report that the second loses no momentum.  Thanos goes to see this conqueror and finds out that Annihilus wants to expand the Negative Zone and to declare war on Universal Balance.  INGENIOUS!  Silver Surfer gets the band back together with other surviving Heralds who all collectively 'Whoa' at the scope of this story.  There hasn't been much, but man, I am on the edge of my seat for the fate of the universe.

Exiles #80

Oh, you know it's bad when they recap a character's life story.  It's a trick I noted in a lot of anime series, that one episode where they tell you everything that happened before so you'll know exactly what they're throwing out the window.  The moment I saw this was going to be from Morph's point of view, I knew the poor guy was up for it.  And I was not proved wrong:  during the big battle between Hulks 2099 and Maestro, long time baddie Proteus jumps into Morph when his defenses are down, decides that this is the body for him and jumps to the next 'verse.  Team leader Blink says this time it's personal.  Considering this guy got away with killing her beau and has been the focal point for way too many issues, something better give.

Exterminators #5

Did you know this is an ongoing series?  I thought it was a mini!  Anyways, the bug phobia continues.

Hard Time - Season Two #6

Nothing like a story about a kid in prison and his place in the multiverse!  This issue steps out of the current conflict to dive head first into mystics, metaphor, various allusions, secrets and a cheery tour of the book in general and the cast at large.  The kind of story that tickles long time readers and the author himself as he gets to hint at a bunch of stuff, but really doesn't o much for the average reader.  As a storytelling device, it's a cool idea that you can just take the main character to a metaphysical museum and have him tour himself in various tableaus, and in the end, everyone learns a little something about themselves and Cutter promises revenge.

Justice League Unlimited #21

It's supposed to be a 'romance issue' as it revolves around a few couples but it just has the feel that it was written by a high school nerd.  There are a lot of expositionary facts around a very simple story:  Vixen and Green Lantern are having relationship issues while fighting a big storm which just so happens to be caused by Heatwave and Killer Frost having a lover's spat.  Black Canary and Green Arrow are there to provide backup and couple advice and everything's resolved in the end but the Shayera/Vixen/Green Lantern triangle.  Does Green Arrow really have an arrow for everything?

Swamp Thing #27

Enrique Breccia's art is very Corben in this issue, which is a little over saturated for me.  Especially since the last issue I read was so pretty, but it does deliver the sort of dreamy scary story Vertigo is known for delivering.  Swamp Thing makes camp and draws his line.  The inhabitants of said camp warn that they may have to fight to hold that line and the Swam Thing promises protection while slimy things makes life hard outside the swamp.  Not too wordy, not too complicated, just storytelling.

Team Zero #6

The Machismo Issue.  And it's the last one to bring it all home!  There's a big throw down with the Russians in this WWII tale, a handful of double crosses met with bullets and all the characters you're not familiar with from the Wildstorm Universe get bumped off and in the end, the mission is completed and... uhm, yeah.  That's it.  Maybe we were supposed to learn something, but that's what Sgt. Rock and Fury: Peacemaker are for.

Y the Last Man #45

A fast paced issue with plenty of plot points blooming up like spring flowers.  Dr. Mann's mom spills the beans on her connections to this whole story, Agent 355 reaches her breaking point, the monkey stays in unfamiliar hands and in the end... NINJA!  Really, this is a hard book to keep up with issues after issue and really reads much better in trade paperback form.  There's no shame in this; there's a lot to think about, so I continue to recommend it in a thicker format.