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We Have Review Sign! – Reviews for 3/29

Welp, due to poor working conditions, looks like you're on your own for last week's books.  Don't worry, you didn't miss much.

Also, DC only sent us four preview books and I still only managed to read two, so the last are sort of Snap Guesses.  Enjoy!

Captain America 65th Anniversary Special

Anniversary Special?  This isn't an Anniversary Special.  It's an Annual at best.  Everything in this is central to th current plot and doesn't so much look back fondly on the American hero so much as use an old mission to further the current.  Why is this an Anniversary Special?  It's not bad, the story's decent, nothing thrilling:  Cap and Bucky (now with more Winter Soldier-like action!) team up with Fury and the Howling Commandos to help dissenters foil a Nazi plot to unearth a giant robot.  Just a Tuesday during WWII, right?  Well, Bucky finds love with a plucky German girl and it turns out Cap is relating this story in the present to Sharon as an illustration of... uhm, how Bucky might be looking for this chick.  And that the Red Skull has gone back to look for the Robot.  Yeah.  The art is handled by two guys (Javier Pulido and Marcos Martin) who really pull the whole thing off thanks to the stylistic design that had me rechecking to make sure it wasn't Darwyn Cooke in disguise.  Again, a good Annual, a decent story... just not for an Anniversary.

Uncanny X-Men #471

No, no, what are Wolverine and Storm doing in Africa?  Really!  I want to know!  It looks interesting, like there might be something meaningful involved and relatable to the rest of the titles.  Come back!  Damn.  Back to Rachel Grey.  The Shi'ar Something-or-Others are back to let the X-Men kick them around again.  The Sentinel Squad (of two) accompany a Blackbird into town and ... don't really assist all too much aside from making a little boy's day.  Note the little boy in question:  we catch him playing with some Sentinel Squad action figures, making me wonder how publicized the 'Westchester Internment Camp' is.  What am I saying!  Like it matters with Civil War coming up... Anyway, the Shi'ar realize that sending this silly little group into kill Rachel isn't working and decide to just bomb the hell out of New York to get her.  Sensing this, Rachel and Psylocke join hands, avert Sudden Explosive Death and Rachel explains to Nightcrawler how all of this means she's honoring her mother's legacy.  These stories must make Chris Claremont SO happy.

Books of Doom #5

We all know the story, so sing along:  Doom starts revolution in Latveria.  He monologues, he promulgates (look it up).  He mercilessly kills those who oppose him.  Classic Doom.  Brubaker does a good job at narrating an incredibly dramatic and seminal villain, it's just that the art does not step up to the scope of this legend.  Pablo Raimondi is a decent guy, I'm not saying the art is bad, it's just not epic enough for the kind of story that's being told.  Like 8-Bit Shakespeare, without the novelty.

Spider-Man Araña: The Hunter Revealed #1

Oh, this is why the book didn't sell that well.  I liked the idea of a young super-heroic girl balancing school and adventure with an older mentor kind of guy (anyone watch Buffy?), but with all this 'Totem' and 'Secret Society' stuff, it's a little too complicated to be fun.  Though for the right age in the Anime-Laden Childhood kids seem to be having these days, it might be a good recommendation for the girl who's brother gets Dragonball.  So, there's two groups, the 'Webcorps' and the 'Sisters of the Wasp', they both have hunters and mages, there's some soul bonding involved, and they fight.  There's ancient secrets, there's resurrections and by the end of the book, both groups are pretty much toast, letting Araña drop all that complication and get on with her life.  Oh, and Spidey's in the book, mostly for show.  The middle bit is drawn by Sabrina's anime artist Tania Del Rio, and that's pretty fun and nicely gets you up to speed from Araña's back story.  On the whole, pretty cool for kids, not so great for Spidey fans.

Marvel Romance Redux: Guys and Dolls #1

Not as funny as the last one.  In fact, it's pretty unfunny.  And they're going with the random #1 on the cover instead of numbering them with each Marvel Romance Redux they do.  Unless you really like the gag or just want some old romance comic art, you can save the $2.99.

Marvel Spotlight: David Finch/Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa

Do you like those two guys?  Then this is the book for you.  If not, then you probably can save your $2.99 as most of the info inside can be gleamed off of Newsarama or the Marvel website.  This is a real hit-and-miss kind of thing depending on who the spotlight hits and what kind of extras they throw in and, at least for me, this is a miss.  Interesting to know Aguirre-Sacasa is a playwright and went to an Ivy League school, but not $2.99 interesting.

Untold Tales of the New Universe: Psi Force #1

Well, they couldn't all be cool.  The last two I read were surprisingly good and really did flesh out the Quarter Bin characters into something that you might want tolook back into.  This one?  ... Not so much.  In fact, you probably saw this episode of Captain Planet before.  They even have the Russian chick!  Five kids apparently with a variety of psychic powers were gathered together by their mentor who died but can be resummoned in spirit by them as a Native American superhero.  Yeah.  The two books previously previewed managed to be 80's enough for the theme but not annoyingly so.  Not this one!  See:  the Black Kid with the Basketball!  The Nerd!  The Jock in the Leather Jacket!  The Girl with all the 80's catchphrases you'd hope you'd never hear again!  And, as previously mentioned, the the Russian chick with the most unique spelling of the un-unique exclamation of 'Boshe Moi!' yet.  If you're looking for a real throwback, go ahead and try it and watch two Native American spirit warriors battle it out.

Fantastic Four #536

This book will sell out.  Guaranteed.  Not that it's good, but it keeps promising more in the Mighty Marvel Manner so everyone's going to think this is the first appearance of Mjolnir or something.  But what's actually inside?  The Fantastic Four (after a quick nod to both Amazing Spider-Man and the Illuminati special) go to fend off a horde of Doom bots suddenly at the site of a mysterious object that has recently crashed from space.  And lo and behold, Reed only now realizes it's Thor's mighty hammer.  Oh, and Doom's back.  For a man who really makes an entrance and can actually change the font that he proclaims his name in (something Straczynski has mentioned before), that was a really weak return.  No drama, no intrigue, just part of the Doom Bot Army.  Ah well.  Just a little taste t keep you interested, but no actual story involved.  And is it me or is Straczynski getting way too cheeky these days?  I mean, the fourth wall break with Tony and Peter Parker, the editor and writer text box 'fight' in the last issue of Amazing Spider-Man and this little note at the start of the FF here about the plane?  Not to mention the Words, Words, Words articles on Newsarama.  It's like he's trying to hard to be liked.  I'd rather have more plot.

New Avengers: Illuminati

Continuing our 'Will be Sold Out Before the Pulls are Done' theme, here's another one.  For the most part, this is a kind of a cool idea: the most powerful and world-moving characters in the Marvel Universe get together to share info and make the bid decisions.  Too bad they pretty much convince you otherwise within a couple pages of the book.  In fact, it doesn't really feel like anyone wants to be there at all besides Iron Man, who comes across as that one person who tries to take control of all the group events with or without your say so among your friends.  He thinks it's a dandy idea while everyone else either disagrees or shrugs their shoulders.  Black Panther tells them to walk away from it at their first meeting.  But do they listen?  Tony comes to the table again with an idea of putting the Hulk 'someplace else' for 'safety reasons' and Namor thinks that's crap.  He's the worst person to be right in situations like this because he's just going to come off like a prick.  And he does.  A fight even breaks out between him and Iron Man (hey, he was asking for it)!  Isn't this group supposed to be working for good here?  Aren't these heroes?  Why does every good guy these days have to be so pissy with one another?  Look at that cover!  They're all surly.  Suffice it to say, this is the book that lays out the entire damn show for Civil War.  Tony comes to the group to talk about it in their last meeting and it unsurprisingly doesn't go well.  Again.  He practically gives you the break down of how things are going to go in the books, he's that far reaching.  This should honestly be a rant in and of itself but let's just say the book has one awesome moment and a lot of letdown.  But we'll buy it anyway.

Sentry #7

By this point, I was pretty down when I was making notes for these reviews.  Marvel seemed full of promises and there was so little to show for it.  And then... the clouds parted, the angels sang, and I read the second to last issue of the Sentry.  God bless Paul Jenkins.  God bless us, everyone.  Because this is how it should be done.  This is how storytelling should grab and shake you down for all the sympathy you got.  Every issue has been phenomenal in its scope, story and what it's trying to tell you.  They tease you with a new take on the character, only to give you an all new idea with the next issue that leaves you hungry for more.  It's thoughtful, though-provoking, full of twists and turns that are unexpected but make sense and pull you along for a great ride.  God, I love this book.  Remember last issue where the Golden Guardian of Good comes to the realization he's in a mental institution?  Well, looks like Robert Reynolds is actually John Victor Williams, schizophrenic murderer, and he has dreamed up the entire Marvel Universe to cope with the horrible things he's done.  WOW.  But then, just when you're starting to wonder how this all happened, he's back to being the Sentry and Doctor Strange and the scientist that 'supposedly' gave him the super serum have teamed up to put him in that delusion!  This proves once again, they like writing Dr. Strange as a right bastard.  SHIELD shows up when the Sentry demands answers from the professor and, get this, detonates a bomb in the old man's chest before he can tell him The Truth.  Now, the Sentry must face the most EVIL looking Fortress of Solitude I have yet to see to face himself/Evil/the Void/another psychic presence/whatever this is going to be for the final issue.  And I cannot wait.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #202

Pretty good.  Investigations into the origin of the Ripper continue, some leads are followed, some trails run cold and Batman s easily one step ahead of the reader.  The Penguin guest stars to spill some info while his thugs rough the Batman up.  Batman takes care of them handily and then asks the Penguin why he even bothered with the usual melee when he was just telling him the info anyway.  Well, you never know when a thug might get lucky.  It's sure, it's pretty interesting, nothing along the lines of what's going on in the books now and a good recommendation for someone coming in looking for a Batman Book.  Like coffee-flavored coffee.

Batman: Journey Into Knight #8

Okay, now someone told me this book was pretty good and whoever that was, I'm going sock them.  While Tan Eng Huat's art might have worked for the second-to-last try at the Doom Patrol, on Batman it just looks weird.  And if the art's off, it's really hard to get into the story.  It doesn't seem like I'm missing much though as people are being brainwashed by a psychic hotline.  Maybe this was just a bad issue.

Lucifer #72

Three more issues until the end of the series, so it's probably more tidy wrap up with Lucifer and maybe an idea of how this whole show's going to end.

Warlord #2

Someone swings a sword?  I mean, with a cover like that if someone didn't I'd be disappointed.