snap judgments

Amazing Spider-Man #529

Welp, there it is, the new costume plus the Times New Roman fonted ‘Civil War‘ banner. This is just the issue that tells everyone who’s been reading Newsarama and other comic news sources what we already know: Spidey’s getting a new costume from Iron Man that does a bunch of nifty things and that will require him to enter an important pact with Tony Stark that will come into play during Civil War. There’s a fourth wall moment regarding Mary Jane’s arm healing properties during The Other which was a little off-putting, the mention of a ‘Blood Pact’ between the two (their words, not mine) was a little more off-putting and the fact that Iron Man gets hold of Peter Parker via an eagle (is that an eagle?) statue in his bedroom, even more so. Little points aside, it’s the issue that leads into all the rest and will most likely be important to collectors. But that’s just me.

New X-Men #23

X-23′s a cutie. I have to admit, despite not really caring for the title all that much, there’s a lot of stuff going on. A nice change from the rather slowly paced other X-Books. There’s a Student Battle Royale to determine who gets to stay at the mansion as the next team of X-Men and who has to take the bus home. Everyone’s split up in this issue, whether it’s by faction or team, beliefs (hey, Stryker again!) and the usual Human/Mutant issue, tons of strife and action. I just wish I felt a little more strongly about the characters other than ‘Hey, that’s a neat character design!’

Thing #4

Lockjaw! Lockjaw wins! Dan Slott proves again that not only can the ‘ol’ funny books’ be funny, but… you can learn a little something in the process. Just let the man write. Don’t worry about how bickering and irritating the FF seem, it’ll all make sense in the end. He even throws in a fairly typical villain battle without making it seem obligatory. Lockjaw (yay) is out POV for the story about patience and family and it looks like they’re going to be keeping the Inhuman pup in the book. Unexpected, but I trust Mr. Slott.

Captain America #15

What do you do after Winter Soldier? What could possibly follow bringing back Bucky? Apparently, it’s the Red Skull’s daughter. Not a bad ‘quickie’ deprogramming session that allows for readers to catch on this character and feel pretty bad for her in the process. An evil man with evil plans finds Synthia Schmidt and tries to bring back the line of the Red Skull and the gal he once knew despite her SHIELD programming to cover up the programming that the Red Skull gave her to make her the perfect little Nazi daughter. Rough time. But I have to say I want to see where he’ll take this…

Fantastic Four #535

All ages? I didn’t know this was ‘All Ages’ on the cover. Sweet! And we got a Hulk vs. Thing fight, making me the luckiest girl in the world. This is the ‘shaved head Hulk’, making me wonder where this is set, since (correct me if I’m wrong, lord knows I’ve been quite often of late) Hulk went Vin Diesel during Bruce Jones’s run but got his hair back for Peter David’s jump back. Hrm. Anyways, he and the Thing fight, hair or no, and I get a lovely dose of Hulk Philosophy via. Mr. Straczynski well illustrated. It’s also a good family issue too, which is a point Mark Waid made so well when he was writing and does my heart good to see it settled in. And, for those keeping score at home, an inkling of ‘Planet Hulk‘/’Illuminati‘.

Storm #1

Awesome! Great! Let’s see it! Storm Goddess at work! Some romance and passion with Black Panther! A strong female character who is defined by who she is now and all that she’s accomplished! … Okay, maybe in a few more issues as we start this one off waaay back when with her start as an orphan thief. The writing is full of art but little substance. David Yardin‘s art is very real without looking photo-perfect, faces are built, Storm’s awesome cat-like blue eyes are in effect and he has an etchy, but fluid storytelling style. Storm as Ragamuffin does click as much for me as I think she’s pretty damn cool and there was that mini Ororo: Before the Storm which seemed pretty recent… I’d like to see something new out of this period and instead I get a fairly wincingly flowery inner monologue on Ororo’s blossoming womanhood. The flashback to Storm’s parents, pretty cool, but I think we’re starting awfully slow on this one.

Wolverine #39

Wolverine finds the Winter Soldier, they fight. Ahh… so simple. So nice. There’s a start with some officials getting put in a top secret prison for their own safety so Wolverine doesn’t come for them and SHIELD’s Thaddeus Dugan (can we still call him ‘Dum Dum’?) jumping at shadows as he too fears the Canuck. I like the idea of ‘mortal men’ jumping at the thought of Wolvie as the Bogeyman, but… I dunno. I think of SHIELD as a very macho business with full guns a-blazing, waiting for that little hair man to ‘come get some’, but this could be me. I think Mark Texeira on Wolverine is great, probably my favorite artist for him (Javier Saltares is on breakdowns), and the fight’s good and mean but… nothing new under the sun. Looks like Winter Soldier killed Wolvie’s wife and unborn kid, giving Logan another notch on the ‘dead love interest’ list.

X-Men #183

Splash pages! Tell me Larocca isn’t talking to Bryan Hitch on how to pad out an issue… This is Apocalypse’s big appearance and he makes short work of those at the X-Mansion. The refugees think the big blue guy on the giant sphinx might have a point, Sunfire shows off his awesome Age of Apocalypse design (really, it’s cool.) and does his work as the new Famine horseman. In order to stave off their new hunger, the refugees (not the X-Men, though, apparently, since they’re major characters) and (get this) the Sentinel Squad jump in line for a taste of Apocalypse’s blood. Wow. Oh, and Gambit turns traitor. Again. People, watch him. It just seems to quick, too easy. At least the Twelve was confusing.

The Book of Lost Souls #5

When I grow up, I’m going to be a Vertigo book! From the pretty and mysterious cover Tall Dark and Handsome, the angel on page two and the cheeky cat to the mascara tears, it’s got all the earmarks of a stereotype. The last issue of the series, it looks like it might have been cool (the owner of the store rather liked it and he’s strangely not known for reading a lot of books) but I can’t get through it without making comparisons. Colleen Doran’s art is lovely indeed and Straczynski’s story looks solid. It’s just a little shy of Gaiman. Gaimanesque.

Marvel Spotlight: Joss Whedon/Michael Lark

So, all those Director’s Cut reprints must be doing well because Marvel made their own in-house magazine based on the interviews and ‘commentary’ those featured. Kinda neat. Not sure if I’d pay comic price for it ($2.99?), but it’s fun to read.

Black Window: The Things They Say About Her #6

I love the Black Widow minis they’ve been doing. Richard H. Morgan is a smart and interesting writer who’s totally got my attention when it comes to Natasha Romanov. I still can’t put my finger on why I like this better than Spider-Woman: Origin. Maybe because it doesn’t feel contrived. The art is beautiful and viscous and sinks in the story of political intrigue and vendettas right into the bone. I hope they keep this up because maybe the title isn’t strong enough to carry a ongoing series, but the stories are just too cool.

Lucifer #71

Lucifer is some fine writing. Highly detailed and connected within itself, but accessible to the layman reader. I’m a sucker for linear tales and mission stories and adore cleverness in a main character and Lucifer never disappoints. The events of the religion-realigning story are coming to their rightful conclusion and Lucifer is just sort of cleaning up his own story and being keen. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.

The American Way #1

Oh, lord. This book would have been a lot cooler 10-15 years ago. it would be quite talked about if it was just new. Disillusionment in your authority, questioning the idea of faith and complacency, peeking behind the curtain of a beloved administration to see their lies, it’s kind of everywhere now. There’s no such thing as the altruist anymore, everyone has to have done something wrong in their past, honor is sort of lost in the modern day. And seeing it in patriotic symbols reminiscent of one’s childhood… I’m not intrigued, I’m just sort of depressed.

Catwoman #52

It’s almost an okay issue to jump into. Too bad it’s the last one before One Year Later. Catwoman, having her supporting cast threatened or in the hospital, confronts the madman Black Mask who’s behind it all and deals with him in an efficient and brutal fashion. Another DCU chick playing hardball! Very well written and nicely played out. Makes me wanna hit the back issues which is always a good sign.

Much apologies for not finishing up the rest of the DC preview titles, but I was out of town this weekend. I promise it won’t happen again.

Happy Wednesday!

Dave’s Long Box: Linkblogging for beginners

A link for linkblogging about linkbloging?  Ehh?  Ehh??   I’m absolutely certian people out there do it bigger and better so thus, my links are shallow and small.  I’m just going to stick with reviewing comics you have’t read yet.

Or…. HAVE YOU!??!

*dramatic music sting here*

Ack! My boss had sadly removed the preview books form the store to flip through at his leisure… and I only got my hands on them until yesterday. Bad reviewer! So, much apologies for the actual snap judgments and bare bones approach… at least I didn’t miss a week.

Also, lease note: these reviews are being written by a girl, alone on Valentine’s Day, eating chocolate and curled up on the couch in pajamas. Clichés abound!

Punisher vs. Bullseye #4

Color me pleasantly surprised! Not too shabby. A far sight better than the usual ‘Punisher vs. _____’ I’ve read. I think that’s mostly due to Daniel Way’s interpretation of Bullseye (yes, go read Bullseye’s Greatest Hits, now in trade paperback. You’ll be glad you did) and the fact that Steve Dillon’s art makes me laugh from the moment I see it. And… possibly due to the fact that the Punisher is actually versus-ing Bullseye. They are against each other and do fight during the issue! How novel. Some fun rousting of the mafia (man, there must be a SURPLUS of mafia guys in the Marvel Universe. Them and ninjas. Kept in silos.) Some fun hand to hand combat eventually leading to a rescue from… some kids. With a rocket launcher. You’re set.

Spider-Woman: Origin #3

Nope! Still don’t like her, Marvel, you can stop trying so hard! Please? It’s like they’ve dropped all premise of making Jessica Drew a deep and interesting person and just keep throwing stuff on her background and reputation and hope we just think she’s ‘cool’ by default. Now, S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra want Ms. Special Boots for their super-secret plans so she runs away! Dyes her hair! And puts on the same style of outfit that X-23 had in NYX. She beats up EVERYBODY (poor Taskmaster…) and then runs away again! To College! And Nick Fury comes and tells her about her parents! Sorry, I’ve seen the ‘I hate my implanted memories’ before, called it Wolverine and it won’t strike gold a second time. Well… a third. Kinda. Thanks, X-23. Mind you, if they’d made Jessica Drew an unpowered ex-hero who worked as a detective… then we’d have Alias. *tsk*

X-Men: Apocalypse vs. Dracula #1

More fun than I thought it would be. Let’s face it, these X-Men minis don’t have a really good track record. But this might actually be worth a second look come second issue time. Tieri really liked Bram Stoker’s Dracula and most of the movie version of From Hell, so don’t stop if you feel like you’ve seen this one before. Apocalypse as the head of a bloodline cult is certainly an interesting concept and even makes sense plot-wise. I’m not expecting Shakespeare, but this should prove kind of fun.

She-Hulk #5

This is the heartwarming supporting cast issue where everyone learns a little something. While I would have wanted more of the main character in her own title book, her fellows aren’t all that distracting or obnoxious. New cast guy, the Two-Gun Kid, goes through a very mild ‘new century-itis’ thanks to having guest-starred in previous books around the 20th century, so his transition is nice and his story rather interesting. Awesome Andy kinda of takes the spotlight this issue as jealousy rears it’s silent head against the wheelchair bound Ms. Book’s doe-eyed looks at the new cowboy on staff at the law firm… yep. Pretty solid middle issue into something bigger. Not something I’d hand to a new reader (mind you, the cover kind of dissuades me from that already; ugh, another Greg Horn mess), but a little bit of sweet for the loyal reader.

Sentinel Squad O.N.E. #2

My turnoff include: bugs, a failure to communicate and BIG OPENING PAGES that have a SENTINEL snapping GALATICUS’S NECK. I wince just typing those words. Sure, it as part of a ‘training exercise’ but still…. COME ON. What is this book supposed to be anyway? It is a Voltron-style team robot book? Is it a secret organization book? Why do I care about these rather bitchy and bland people again? A gratuitous Hydra suicide bomber shows up for the ‘Bots to actually do something and a member is gratuitously maimed. Oh, I wish this book was over.

New Mangaverse #2

Stupid cute. I’m not saying it’s a work of genius that reinvents characters in a fascinating form or that I’m adding the book to my pull, but… I wouldn’t kick it out of bed for eating crackers. A little bit of everything in the Marvel U. done up in big eyes and small mouth and a far sight better than the first attempts by Ben Dunn. Flip through it, enjoy a couple gags, see if it works for you.

Generation M #4

We’re almost done with the series, and Sally Floyd is still an unrepentant drunk, the serial killer is still on the loose, more former mutants are S.O.L. and… I still want more. In fact, I would have been happy if the book was just a bunch of articles on how ‘Decimation’ has affected the Marvel Universe at large and the overlying plot wasn’t there. I kind of care about all these poor loser and want to know what’s going on with Toad, Beak, Jubilee (who was made useful and interesting in a few pages) and the rest.

Runaways #13

Ragamuffin fun. A little cloying for me, but personal and kind of endearing enough to let it slide. Mutant cutie-pie ‘Princess Powerful’ meets Oliver!

Daredevil #82

Seamless. Beautiful. It is so nice on a book as tightly written as Bendis had been at it to have the ‘new guy’ come in without a bump in transition. No big splashy ‘lookit me! I’m the new writer!’ plot points, no dropped characters, this was artfully done. Not easy shoes to fill, but Brubaker does a fine job at keeping the ball rolling and telling the kind of dark, grit-ridden stories we’ve come to expect from Daredevil. There’s a small hiccup in the ‘Mwhaaha!’ moment at the very very end that could have been just left out, but I’m still going to hang out to see how they handle Foggy. I like underdogs.

Justice #4

Just epic! YES! Jim Krueger does it again with Alex Ross as they craft a fascinating story with just about everyone they can get their hands on. If you have it, find the Conan soundtrack and crack open this book for some truly widescreen storytelling. Lex Luthor shows up in the middle of my city the size of the tallest skyscraper, flanked by Poison Ivy, the Riddler and Black Manta (of all people!) and starts laying down some of the most honeyed poison to the populaces he can come up with all the while the Justice League is being taken out brutally one by one. ‘Where are your heroes?’ Luthor asks as they are all having their asses handed to them. WOW. And all of this… without mention of The Batman, most likely to come back and kick ass next issue. I am THERE.

Loveless #4

Well, Ma. Well, Pa. Some solid western-age here, very dark and episodically written, but not actually accessible to the first time reader. Mind you, this is issue was enough to make me consider going back for #1-3, so I wouldn’t *not* recommend it, I’d just keep that little fact in mind…

Losers #32

Man, you had to be there. This is the last issue for the little series that could, a book that my Dad really likes, so I thought I’d give it a try. While Jock’s artwork is really good, something about the book never stuck to me. Maybe because it came out around the time of Queen and Country, 100 Bullets and other similar books. I can’t seem to put my finger on it, but there’s something similar to all those books that I can’t easily label … at 12:50am. Anyhoo, this issue has a guy hand-detonating a nuke on his lap. Nice.

Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi #1

This is such a breakfast cereal book. Like a sugar bomb of clip art manga, Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi explodes into your face with super simple stories that all blend into one another with little ‘fun facts’ of Japanese words. Good for the hyperactive set.

Hellblazer #217

Okay, I like the cover artist. I thought no one could possibly take the place of Mr. Bradstreet, but the new stuff is growing on me. In order to cure his curse of doom and empathy, Constantine travels to Scotland to see who set him up for his current predicerment. Sill worth the next issue.

Y The Last Man #42

AAAH! Monkey issue! Why won’t you let me be!?

Happy Wednesday everyone, and hopefully I can snag the preview books before the owner does.

Seriously! Reviews! Any minute now!

Here we are again! Hoorah. I’m almost getting the hang of all this, losing that ‘New Blogger’ smell as I figure out the how’s and when’s of posting, as well as learn not to post at 1am so my spelling’s better.
Thanks for bearing with! Anyways, on to the comics:

The only thing missing is Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #200, and I’ll probably flip through that on my lunch. Enjoy.

Okay, in my first post I mentioned that the phrase ‘I used to have all these books’ should never be spoken in a comic store again unless they are pointing to the books we actually might have bought from them. Otherwise… really. We don’t care. I don’t go into grocery stores and tell the clerks that I used to eat all the sugar-cereals out there on the shelves when I was a kid. They don’t care, we don’t care. You won’t bond with the employees, you won’t gain their respect or adoration, they’re just going to look at you like comic shop employees do, so quit it.

There’s a lot of these phrases we hear day in and day out that other retail jobs just don’t get. It’s because we’re in a collectable business I suppose. We get to be special. Or maybe it’s just the base of customers we pull from, the public idea of the comic book business, or a multitude of other things that still don’t excuse telling me about what you used to own and expecting a postive reaction.

In the tradition of George Carlin’s Seven Dirty Things You Can’t Say on Television, I’m going to try and think of the Seven Entirely Over Heard Things You Shouldn’t Tell the Comic Shop Employees. Things that if overheard one more time, we should be able to take you out back for. Now, I’ll try to be fair and not pull the ‘How much does this clearly labeled toy cost?’ or ‘What time does Movie X start?’ because those can be covered for in other types of employment. I’ll do my best to be understanding and not include ‘So, what’s Spider-Man up to these days?’ because one out of 40 is actually interested in what you have to say and not just asking because their wife is next door at the shoe place. Nope, these are the questions and phrases we just shouldn’t get but do every single time and there is nearly nothing you can say to counter them.

(no particular order or preceedent, just typing it as it comes)

1) I used to have all these books!
-As said above and I’ll say it again. We live in the Now. Unless you still in fact have them now in better condition than we do and are looking to sell them, your previous ownership of anything does not factor into this ‘Now’. In fact, there’s nothing to say to that. Nothing. You say ‘I used to have all these books!’ and we say ‘…. uh. Wow.’ That’s the best I’ve been able to come up with while still being polite.

2) My mother threw away all my comics.
-Honestly. Why are you telling us this? it’s not going to change anything. In fact, it’s why these older books are so much money. So, thank you Mom for creating a collector’s market. But that still doesn’t change the fact that you don’t have them any more and are going to have to pay through the nose to get them back. This is no news to us. We’ve heard it before. It’s cliche. One guy even said, ‘I’m sure you hear this all the time, but my mom threw away all my comics!’ He was right. We do hear that all the time and yet, he just had to let us know.

3) What’s collectable? / How much is this going to be worth?
-FEAR ME! I am MENTALLO fromthe FUTURE and can see years ahead into the collectable market! OooOOOoooOO! This one almost makes me cry. I’m sure the Baby Jesus does. Because it shows a total lack of interest in the actual book itself, all the story and art is nothing to the idea that this schmoe wants to retire on an issue of Spider-Man. God, that’s sad. There is really no way to know what’s going to be worth something down the line, even with sure bets because you just don’t know what the future will bring. Everyone and their mom thought the death of Superman was going to be the one to pay thier kid’s college tuitions but then they went out and bought FOUR COPIES and thus, there are more in circulation and they’re going to probably stay at about $5-$10. Don’t ask me, I don’t know. I don’t even care anymore about the ‘collector’s market’. Ask me what comics are good TO READ and then I can help.

4) I remember when comics cost 12-cents!
-Wowie, Mister! Sure hate to burst your bubble here but content and quality have gone up, just like the dollar and so now you’re stuck at $2.99. Times have sure changed.

5) Are these too violent?
-You know, you could open up the book and look inside. It’s humanly possible for you to judge the content that your child sees. In fact, it’s your responcibility. Now, I read the kids books to kind of help out on this but in the end, it’s your job. One mom didn’t want her son to have a copy of Batman Adventures because it had a picture of a knife and the word ‘HATE’ on the front cover. The kid was 8, 9 tops. See? I can’t make these judgements.

6) *Insert Yours Here*
7) *Insert Yours Here*

Now I’m sure you could make a better list than this so I’ll leave the last two blank and see what comes of the comments. Ask your friends, your local shop and yourself and see how utterly unintelligble you can be! I’ll put up a full ‘definitive-esque’ list in a week or so. I’m even sure some of these could be defended by Johnny Cochran. So? What do you think, sirs?

Keep in mind that there are some I didn’t put in here out of pity (such as ‘How much is my Death of Superman worth these days?’, etc.) and I’ll probably get to that some time soon as a certain class of customer that should be understood like that Crocodile Guy understands the deadliest snakes in the world. Yes, there are stupid questions and stupid people.