Future Snap Judgments and X-Apathy
Okay, last three books from the preview pile:
- Hard Times: Season Two #3
- Maybe it's because I haven't been reading this (despite some pretty good reviews and opinions), but my brain just shut off during whatever power set the main character has. Something about Asian or Indian mysticism or.. something that allow him a Funky Blue Ghost Body like Obi-Wan. Ennh. Not my bag, baby, probably just a me thing. Otherwise, after Underworld #1, it's nice to see a really evil guy in prison. You know, no 'heart of gold', no 'bad rap', no 'just doing it because of the system', no just good ol' fashioned EVIL and this 'Slasher' guy seems to be just that. His plot seems interesting as he takes in a couple desperate inmates for something nefarious and skin-crawling, so I might pick up the next one to see where it goes. Oh, yeah, the kid's ghostly bits seem to act to Slasher's chi or something because he's evil. The wise old man inmate said so. (EDIT: the name 'Slasher' was badly remembered by me. My apologies. )
- Y - The Last Man #42
- MONKEY STORY! It tells you how good a book this is when the life and times of a monkey are some interesting reading. Watch Ampersand's early career as a test monkey turned accidental helper monkey! Listen to Yorick quip with the monkey! See a really strange Monkey Dream! And... ninja boobies. A nice little side story that still serves the plot and makes you want to see what's next, as well as a fine example why I like to read this book in trade instead of issues.
- Exterminators #2
- I really tried, guys. I just can't do it. It's gross. Indiana Jones doesn't review books about snakes, I don't do ones on bugs. Especially when they really delight in the details of the 'eww', like a fourth grade boy on the playground. Sure, it's probably great for some out there but it makes me actually sick. Good for them, though for being able to illicit a reaction like that.
- Uncanny X-Men #469
- Get comfortable."Man, are we feared and hated these days."
"Yep. Sure are."
"Well, I'm going to go cook to center my spirit."
"You go do that, time-displaced supercop from a semi-dystopian future."Something happened to me while reading this issue. A button was pressed, a switch was flipped and God, I hate the X-Men.After the brutal murder of her mother's family because of the Phoenix Force that she now carries, Rachel Grey hangs out. Mind you, she spends most of the issue trying to convince all those that are worrying about her that she's 'just fine' and not up to something then jumps over the fence at the last bit in the story to show that she is, but in the end, it's a 'day-in-the-life of the persecuted', X-Men style. Holographic Storm chit-chats with Iron Chef Bishop, Doc Samson shows up to tell people that Rachel might be up to something and no one listens, Scott even catches Rachel having snuck out before by her 'tee hee' collection of video rentals (all with stars from the X-Men movies! How coy!) and reacts by sort of ruffling her hair a bit ('Oh, you scamp!'). It's like he's trying so hard to humanize these mutants that they’ve lost any credibility as superheroes. Bishop invites Sentinel program head Val Cooper to dinner and seems to just want to chit chat more, ‘build a bridge’. The government is clearly shown to be complete scum while they watch Rachel Grey in the shower and they get a warning from the guys in charge equaling a 'Cut that out or I'm telling!'
What in the HELL happened? When did the X-Men get so apathetic to their own plight?The last bit of hope I have for anything with the X-Men is the Guthries, who are shown to be the only people not rolling over to the status quo. Sure, everyone else could be sneakily going along with things until they reveal their Big Sneaky Plan but... come on!! Paige's personal effects are ransacked by the government and Sam tries to protect her only to be told to STAND DOWN by Bishop! I understand a certain allegiance to authority from his character but this is just silly. The reason they ransack her stuff is because they think she's part of/behind some pirate broadcasting with essentially complains about the Robot Marshal Law imposed and the X-Men's inactivity. She laments to her brother about how terribly south everything ahs gone and both of them are the only ones shown who are ready to rebel against the constrictions imposed after Decimation.
Like a lot of people, I started on X-Men. These were the books I cut my superhero comic teeth on so I have a dear fondness for a lot of the characters and base concepts and stories they represent. I don't want to pin my hopes on a new writer or creative team or any of that anymore. I just want my X-Men to be good again. I want my heroes back.
from the FUTURE! – Reviews for 2/1
Well, do remember I am new so I did my best on all the books I could and should have a few more tomorrow for wrap-up. But, until then, enjoy the following (now with formatting!):
- Underworld #1
- Cute idea that's been done before, to mixed results. Tell me if you've heard this one before: baddest of the bad,
the PunisherJackie Dio is freed fromGitmo'The Cage' (like The Vault but like a BAJILLION times more bad ass, apparently) and, after talking to is old boss Silvermane, goes to talk to the Owl (not Kingpinnier) and is reunited with his arch-nemesis in one last 'Not... YOU!' style shot at the end of the book. A bunch of little inconsistencies get under my skin (if The Vault is for wimps, why was Electro in there who they mention was also at this 'Cage' place? Was he cool enough to go to both? Where does this 'Jackie' guy stand, anyways? He's supposed to be this hardcore criminal that is far too mean for the likes of the Vault, but he beats up Nazis in his spare times and hates super-villains? And oh, no more 'mysteries of the new age' montages where the main character who's been out of society for awhile has to go through those cloying 'What's a DVD?' moments. It's just uninspired.), but... I just can't bring myself not to see what the next issue holds. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Silvermane. - X-Factor #3
- Admitting my total bias for this book and my future as 'Mrs. Jamie Madrox' (he's dreamy), this and Generation M continue to be the only Decimation titles. Don't listen to the little banner and symbol they've all but given up on putting on the cover, everyone else wants to tell their own stories and so does David, he just works within the current company-wide plotline. Fancy that. Siryn and Jamie investigate the mysterious murder from issue #2, Rictor and M share a sitcommy moment, Rahne and Guido serve as our 'Hey! Hey! Decimation here, people!' story and Layla Miller lets us know that Peter David really liked the TV show Angel. Eh, the books holds up well enough that i don't mind the 'homage' we'll call it, and... secretly I'm hoping Layla Miller turns out to be Charles Xavier. But that's me and I'm a sucker for David's X-Factor, what can I say?
- Thunderbolt Jaxon #1
- From the pages of Avalon comes this tale of a rushed plot that doesn't really bother too much with the details to get to the punch line: it's troubled teens with the powers of Norse Mythology! Tah-dah! Two of the kids comes from abusive homes while the third has cancer and a Dad who looks like a cabbie. They probably would have done better just to skip this issue entirely and just get to the point the writer seems so gleefully interested in getting to. I mean, I understand, if I had Norse-God-Powered Teens™ I'd be excited too. And... didn't Neil Gaiman pitch something like this to Marvel awhile back when they were talking about revamping Thor? I think they did and the idea just got shelved. And now, Dave Gibbons, ladies and gents. Well, let's see how issue two goes.
- Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man #12
- I think it's important for retailers to at least flip through the more kid-oriented books because we're kind of the thin blue line to parents who come in all shivery and fearful of the 'new age' of comics. They're not safe! They have *gasp!* violence! They're not wholesome anymore! What a scary scary world we live in, folks, especially for the insecure parent. The good news is Marvel Adventures are squeaky clean and actually rather fun. They used to be old 'Stan Lee' stories trusted up with some new art and hipper dialogue but I think they've developed into a nice little niche market and are running on their own steam. Sean McKeever (my Mary Jane hero) pens the Peter Parker I like best: the Everyday teen with new responsibility and a lot of hard luck humor. Peter goes through a few neat little nightmare situations (with little to no violence but a lot of character depth for your average kiddie book) as villain Nightmare feeds on his fear, leading him to team up with Spider-Man (as himself!) to defeat him. Good clean fun for everyone and a nice book to pick up in this Crisis-laden day and age.
- Batman and the Monster Men: Bad Moon Rising #4
- I like this Batman. Any time they leave the Dark Knight to do his thing, I am there with bells on. Matt Wagner, stepping out from those God-awful covers he did during Winick's run on Batman, gives us Batman fighting huge beefy monsters with nothing but his mitts and his wits, out smarting everyone at every turn. Yeah. Even the love interest Julie seems to have a head on her shoulders as she catches Bruce Wayne after a night of monster-battling. Nothing like a smart book with dastardly villainy and action to keep your interest. Well-drawn, well written, I'll have to watch out for it.
- Seven Soldiers of Victory: Bulleteer #3
- Real world dysfunction artfully wrapped in hyper-hero romanticism. It's Morrison's world, we just live in it. The title character goes to a hero convention which looks remarkably and disarmingly like Artist's Alley at Comic Con. While there looking for the superwoman who slept with her dead husband, she meets four color characters played very Seinfieldianly who are just trying to be special. Like any of us.
- Marvel Romance Redux #1
- In the tradition of 'What Were They Thinking?, What's Up Tiger Lily?, a bunch of old 60's romance comics have been given new and funnier dialogue and stories next to the silly artwork of the day. I mean, no Nextwave or Defenders, it's good for a few tee hee's and I think they might be doing another one of these.
- The End: X-Men - Book Three: Men and Mutants # 2
- AAAAAAH!!! Make it stop! Oh Dear Lord in Heaven, make it STOP!! Seriously, this has gone on way too long and it's like that guy who won't shut up so you can get in a word edgewise to tell him you really have to pee. That Claremont train keeps a-rollin' down the track, barrelling through miles and miles and miles of plot that, I will admit, has moments, but continues to move at ludicrous speed. This was a series, folks. The best issues of that series (the Hulk, Punisher) were ONE ISSUE. One. Somehow, the point was missed and things just keep getting more confusing instead of ending anything. I'd summarize, but I don't even think that's possible anymore.
- New Excalibur #4
- It's TEAM TIME! Pete Wisdom acts as a generic g-man for weirdness and randomly picks some guys who happen to be in England at the time and cajoles them into joining up just in time to fight some warwolves. Oh, 'Lionheart' is there too, beating up on Captain Britain for getting her into this mess, apparently. Interpersonal dialogue is atrocious ('Courtney Ross, allow me to introduce Kelsey Leigh. Her public identity is LIONHEART!') and nothing really connects. Claremont really wants Nocturne to be Rachel Grey and Dazzler says 'Grrl' out loud. In public. I had such hopes for this book, a back-to-basics, outside the X-Books irreverent feel that the first one had that Claremont could have used these days, but this... this is silly.
- Spider-Girl #95
- Okay, I'll admit that this book really isn't my cup of tea but I can see how it can continue to be a fan fav and do support it for what the book is. Tony Stark (who hasn't aged a day) has to stop a nanite-infested Jim Rhodes who's been hex-bolted into craziness (oh, hex bolts, what *can't* they do?), leading to old and new Avengers to team up and take Rhodes down while reminding him of his roots ('You can't fight us, you're a good guy!' kinda stuff). Someone said that this book is really the Ultimate line in disguise, being accessible to kids and adults alike for simple fun and... yeah.
- Sentry #5
- This book is for me. It should just come with a big 'For Carla' on the cover and a big red bow 'cause MAN, do I love me some Jenkins! I understand that it might seem a little slow or a lot confusing for some out there but this is because it's my book. The Sentry's psychiatrist delves deeper into the inherent madness that is the link between the hero and his arch-nemesis with the assistance of the Sentry's own robotic assistant CLOC while he fends off threats from the underworld and winds up between the evil Void and the Golden Guardian of Good. But this isn't a 'Dr. Hero' story, this is still all about the Sentry and the 'Superman' complex. When one has the power of a thousand exploding suns, how do you *not* play God? What happens when the world's most powerful super-hero is absolutely cracked? Jenkins humanizes and gets right down into the guts of the matter and expresses it wonderfully through John Romita Jr's expert pencils. He's gotten a lot better over the years and I thin this is a fine example of how far he's come. I just hate to think that this is going to be a mini-series. And that we'll never see this kind of depth with him in the New Avengers. Ah, well. Let's enjoy it while it lasts.